I’m aware that expectation in people, leads to heartache. Expectations based upon what a person appears to be, or says they are, or who you want/need them to be …. leads to the harsh reality of who they truly are at some point. And I do always come to know who someone truly is, deep inside.
I’m done with expectation. I’m done with reliance on, or trust in anyone. I realise the only person I can rely on, expect anything from, expect honesty from, expect loyalty from, is myself.
I am okay with that now. I am at peace with that 99% of the time. There is no fear as I write this. No emotional flashbacks rising up. No anxiety. That’s huge progress.
It has become an issue when it is someone I need to have some level of trust in. But, I remind myself, if you don’t attach yourself, or allow yourself to be too emotionally connected to someone, avoid ‘needing’ someone, you don’t need any expectation, or trust in them.
When you are content with yourself, your own resourcefulness (which I have had my entire life), your own capacity for insight, your own capacity to love and care for yourself, your own honesty and integrity … you no longer need that from others.
And it is a far more peaceful, safe place to be.