Projecting a need for perfection, onto my counsellor…. time to eat humble pie.

I have come to realise, I have expected my counsellor to be ‘perfect’, and for many reasons. I don’t do this with other people, but I have with my counsellor because the therapy relationship, is challenging and different to all other relationships. I have to talk to her about trauma and abuse and all that yucky stuff.

I also realise this is really unhealthy. Not in a malicious or intentional way, but entirely about my own needs, none-the-less.

How can I expect anyone to be perfect? I’m not. And I don’t expect other people to be perfect, although I do have standards people need to meet, which is healthy. But ‘perfect’ and expecting that from a therapist – even subconsciously, no that is not healthy.

I am also aware my counsellor is upfront about being a ‘non perfect’ human. And she is aware of my reasons for my ‘need’ for her to be perfect.

I spoke with her about this today, in my very upfront, honest way I always try to be.

I also asked her whether she does this ‘stuff’ that upsets me intentionally…. because she knows I will work it out, because I think deeply and will be honest about myself and not make excuses for my issues. And when I come to understand them and reflect on them, I am honest about them.

I share the same life philosophy as Mariska Hargitay :)

Watching Mariska on ‘Inside The Actors Studio’ and she stated her philosophy in life is always….

“What can I learn from this situation and how can I grow, because that is the most important thing to me, growing”.

I relate 100%. It is interesting how I have always been drawn to Mariska Hargitay and all her various forms of work.

Snoopy Wisdom :)

Thanks Snoopy! Lovin’ the wisdom. Sometimes, it is needed to ignore, sometimes it is needed to act and respond.

Knowing when to act, is also wisdom. But, unless the people are significant in your life, most need to be ignored. Consider the source, consider their motivations, consider their patterns. Then decide if they should just simply be ignored.

Added a slideshow of professionals I recommend & value, to my website.

I truly value the amazing work of many mental health professionals and clinicians. I also truly value the support & encouragement they offer me continually.

So, I have added a slideshow of their websites, to further promote their work. This will continue to be updated and many more added.

http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/