When dealing with a journey with so much abuse and trauma, it is normal and appropriate to want those closest to us, to care about what we have endured. And offer kind words, when we need them. When they don’t, it’s hurtful (again normal emotions) and perpetuates the lifelong issues, of those we love not having any compassion or empathy, when we truly needed them to.
So, when dealing with people who clearly lack empathy (even if they don’t realise it), it is helpful to remember, not to expect empathy from someone who lacks capacity for it. Some people are very limited in their ability to see other people’s pain, have any empathy and it is always healthier, to not expect anything from them. Some people can’t even offer sympathy. And some turn every conversation, into being about themselves.
Expectation, of emotionally/EQ limited people, is a futile and emotional waste of time. That can, if you allow it, cause a lot of hurt. Because, they truly do not care. For whatever reason.
Good, healthy, emotional boundaries are needed. And an ongoing understanding – their lack of empathy – is their issue and not to take to take it on board, not absorb it.
Don’t expect support, care, thought, sympathy, empathy, or compassion, from someone unwilling, or unable to offer them.
Even if they expect all this, from you.