Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Bad behaviour is often defended as normal, to defend ego.

I have two children who could not be more different. Same gene pool, very different personalities. And I love them both and love both their personalities. My eldest son, is more challenging to parent and struggles with his behaviour management, more than his brother. And I am very honest about my children.

My younger son, is mature for his age and well behaved. And due to me raising my sons to love each other, they don’t fight much.

I’ve had my younger son described in a slightly irritated way, as ‘not a normal child’, because he is easy going, well behaved.

I could be offended by this, but I’m not, because I know it was only said, as a defence response from someone who’s children all fight. ‘That’ is deemed the only ‘normal’ behaviour for children. Which is not true. It was clearly perceived to the ego as a negative reflection about parenting capabilities. When it isn’t.

Instead of recognising my younger sons behaviour as a positive and a good thing, it is easier to deem him not normal. When in fact, he is very normal. Just well behaved normal. And it was very insensitive to suggest my son isn’t normal. But, there was no empathy or self awareness. Whereas, I never speak negatively about other people’s children, because I have sensitivity. I’m always nice, even if a child is having horrible behaviour.

My response, was to calmly state my younger sons behaviour is very normal and there is no one type of normal behaviour in children.

It made me realise just how much people defend negative behaviours and why. Continue reading


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Don’t feel at all guilty for needing healthy personal boundaries. It makes you a safe person.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some/

Personal boundaries, protect us from the unhealthy issues of others. They protect our wellbeing and our healing. They are not a luxury, they are a necessity. And I no longer feel guilty about insisting on having them.

Having healthy boundaries, makes you a safe person. And not having them, makes you unsafe.

I have noticed some people with unhealthy boundaries, also have a lack respect for others and this shows in a range of behaviours. This makes them unsafe. And caution is needed.

boundaries respect

I accept some people don’t have self insight into their issues and have unhealthy boundary issues as a result. Some people even when you raise the issues with them, they are unlikely Continue reading


Blessings are in abundance, if you notice them.

I love the Spring weather in this beautiful part of the world I am blessed to live in.

Spring is probably my favourite time of year. I used to love all the cherry blossom trees in the country I previously lived in. Here, the jacarandas are stunning! And purple – one of my two favourite colours. I’ll no doubt start taking pics of them soon. I love taking photos of everything, all the beauty around me. It helps me to be very mindful of the moment, of the beauty, of what God has blessed us with. Helps me focus on good and be thankful for all the good.

My children are happy souls. My garden is looking lovely. My veggies are growing. The sun is shining. I have some peace and quiet for an hour now, before I go meet a lovely friend for coffee.

Life is good.

life is good Continue reading


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I’m done thinking about the first 20 years of my life. As much as is possible, with PTSD.

I’ve spend enough time thinking about my childhood. Well, not that you could call it a childhood. I’ve spent enough time thinking and processing about the vile, disgusting excuses for human beings, who destroyed my childhood. I’ve processed enough of all they have done. All their intentional abuse. There is nothing that will change what they all did.

I do better now, when I don’t think about them. Thinking about them brings up too much pain, too many memories, too much suffering. They deserve nothing from me and I don’t deserve to have to endure any emotions about any of them. If they’re dead, they’re dead. What difference does it make. None.

So, I intend not thinking about any of it, as much as I possibly can. I can’t control my dreams and nightmares. I’ve accepted I will have them indefinitely. It’s cruel to have to endure them continually, but I have to accept it is the way it is. I accept severe PTSD is not curable, only manageable. I’ve also accepted I will always have re-experiencing issues of flashbacks, intrusive memories, which are also not in my control. But, I manage them better and as well as I can.

There is no good, that comes from thinking anymore Continue reading