Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Don’t feel at all guilty for needing healthy personal boundaries. It makes you a safe person.



Personal boundaries, protect us from the unhealthy issues of others. They protect our wellbeing and our healing. They are not a luxury, they are a necessity. And I no longer feel guilty about insisting on having them.

Having healthy boundaries, makes you a safe person. And not having them, makes you unsafe.

I have noticed some people with unhealthy boundaries, also have a lack respect for others and this shows in a range of behaviours. This makes them unsafe. And caution is needed.

boundaries respect

I accept some people don’t have self insight into their issues and have unhealthy boundary issues as a result. Some people even when you raise the issues with them, they are unlikely to change. And some people gain pleasure from stepping over boundaries.

When someone displays ongoing boundary issues, I ensure I have appropriate boundaries, and whether they like that or not, I am not concerned. I don’t have soft boundaries, or co-dependently unhealthy boundary relationships anymore.

And this is a testament to my willingness to self reflect, change and heal.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “Don’t feel at all guilty for needing healthy personal boundaries. It makes you a safe person.

  1. I had to set some boundaries with my brother, who could be verbally abusive. He committed suicide in July and now I feel guilty for setting those boundaries with him.

    • Hi Joyce, I hope it’s okay to say I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. The grieving will no doubt be bringing many different emotions, which are all very normal.
      Please know, setting boundaries with people who are continually causing harm in some way, is needed and deserved. Regardless of what they do after those boundaries have been put in place.
      Loved ones often go through feelings of guilt, when someone ends their life. It is part of the grieving process.
      But, I hope you can come to see, you don’t need to feel that guilt.
      I have blogs about grieving and the process and all the emotions felt you are welcome to read.
      Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Lots of self care and self compassion needed.
      Love, Lilly ❤