This article focusses on emotional abuse, toxic and disordered mothers inflict on their daughters.
It is sad when you read through insightful articles, and realise you are ticking all the types of toxic behaviours and as you go down the list.
It is important the ‘parentification’ (role reversed) abuse, is highlighted as not commonly known or talked about. It is a deep form of neglect and abuse, rarely understood.
My mother is a deeply toxic, disordered, sick, unwell, intentionally abusive woman. And I have no guilt in saying that anymore. There were more abusive behaviours from my mother, than detailed in this article.
And it is needed to be understood – other types of abuse can cause even greater damage, like physical abuse and sexual abuse/sexual exploitation and often to far greater depths, because they are combined with this emotional abuse.
It is an act of self compassion and healing, to state and know the truth. As only then can you begin to truly heal and grieve.
So, for those who choose to harm/shame a survivor of toxic parents more, by suggesting ‘you should not think that way about your mother’, or throw Bible verses at people about ‘honouring thy mother and father’, or suggest no contact is wrong – stop and please educate yourself about childhood trauma and abuse.
Unless educated and capable of empathy, ‘advice’ usually causes more harm and more shame.
Which is why I always suggest trauma focussed therapy, with someone highly experienced, highly educated in trauma and with a great deal of empathy and insight.