There is a lot of unwise thinking that perpetuates this immature belief, that you should never ‘blame’ anyone else for your issues. You should not ever say someone else is responsible for the issues you are having. Such BS. And takes away personal responsibility from those who do cause issues and have caused you harm.
I have PTSD and Complex PTSD, and I will give the entire responsibility for this, to those who intentionally and severely abused my in the first 20 years of my life. I will not internalise this as my responsibility, because that is very unhealthy. If they had not chosen to abuse me, I would not have PTSD. It is a simple as that. People who abuse people, cause damage to other people’s lives, and as such the responsibility for that is theirs. My only responsibility, is to do what is needed to heal those wounds, and be responsible for my life now. And I am.
Removing personal responsibility for abusive and harmful actions, has become popular. And adds to the increasing society issues. It’s also one of those BS new age thinking beliefs, that is so unwise and so unhealthy. But, popular.
On the other hand, I see people externalising blame, for things that that should not be about blaming something/someone else.
An example, poor parenting. A family where mental health issues and developmental issues are clearly occurring. The parenting is poor in some areas. The parent recognises there are issues, but absolutely does not want to consider this might be about themselves, so externalises blame for the children’s mental health issues onto an external event that occurred. (And blames the person who caused that). When it is very obvious that external event, just added to the issues already occurring. But, the parent is using that external event, as the ‘only’ issue. No self awareness. No self insight. And a fragile ego that would not be capable of hearing it might be self that is causing the issues.
Blame/responsibility, is a complex issue and never thought about wisely, when having black and white thinking about it, or a lack of self insight.
It is needed to ‘blame’ people for abuse. It is their responsibility and they need to be accountable for it. It is actually harmful to them, to not give them this responsibility for their actions. It isn’t helping them, to not be accountable.
I prefer the term ‘personal responsibility’ and that does go down better with people.