I’m doing everything I should be. Self care. Boundaries. Less time on the internet. Upped my exercise. Eating better. Socialising with calm, mature people. Gardening. Yoga.
Should be working well you would think…
Nope…….. my sleeping, is shit. My mood is low, often.
Two nights this week, with less than 2 hours sleep. Other nights I do sleep, I’m having bizarre trauma related dreams. It’s truly shit.
I know why. And I know I’m avoiding it. I’m avoiding dealing with some stuff, because the pain is too overwhelming. So it’s messing with my head, messing with my sleep. But, I see no resolution to the problems. No other way to deal with it that makes it any better or easier to cope with.
Sometimes, the reality of the most painful stuff…. there is no easy way to cope with it. You can’t make shit stuff any better than what it is… shit. You just have to let it be what it is. But, the consequences, keep occurring.
Like shit sleep.
(I’m really tired, hence the overuse of the word ‘shit’).