Uninformed advice about Complex Trauma, is dangerous.

I frequently see both EMDR and meditation, hailed as the answer to all who have endured trauma. This simply means they are uneducated about complex trauma.

EMDR can be good for PTSD sufferers. But, it is often not suitable for complex trauma survivors. It was not even designed for complex trauma survivors. It is more suitable to one time, short lived trauma survivors where the trauma occurred as an adult.

EMDR, is also not suitable for those with chronic dissociation.

And I know of many who have been offered EMDR, without the correct knowledge about complex trauma and it has in fact, made their mental health worse and symptoms worsen.

Meditation, is another strategy I know is not considered suitable for many with chronic dissociation and dissociative disorders.

Yet, I continually see people, including professionals and mental health organisations promoting EMDR for all trauma survivors, with PTSD issues.

There are significant differences between chronic severe trauma and one time short lived trauma.

Still receiving messages about people wanting my Facebook page back.

I removed my Facebook page many months ago, for a few reasons.

I am still receiving messages about when it will be back and how people miss it. Which I understand and I know it did a lot of good, in terms of educating and validating complex trauma survivors. And quality info. But, due to poor Facebook rules, it also enabled a lot of very unhealthy, toxic behaviour too.

I’ve considered starting a closed Facebook group, which would promote greater safety and the capacity to remove people easily. Plus only those who are confirmed and accepted by me, would be able to see the info.

But, I remain decided not to do this, at this time.

I think if people truly want to see my work, they will choose to

Find a church….. yeah…. not easy.

My hairdresser is a church goer. She’s a nice enough woman. Each time I attend my hair appointments, she asks me whether I am attending a church now. Each time, I say no. She is aware of the abuse I have endured at a toxic church. In her mind though, I am not a good enough Christian, if I don’t attend church. There is always that attitude – that I ‘should’ be in a church. And no matter how I approach that conversation – it is not ‘good enough’, that I don’t.

It is simply a case of stage 3 faith progression and no awareness of that. You don’t have attend church, to be a Christian. Many spiritually progressed Christians, don’t attend church.

I actually would like to be a part of a church community. I would like to know other Christians. But, I am unwilling to compromise my beliefs, or subject my children to abusive/unsafe/unhealthy/toxic doctrine/environments.

My list of what I will not compromise on are…

1. They need to not be welcoming child sex offender/paedophiles. I am unapologetic in my belief that they are not to be trusted, and secure in my desire to keep my children safe from sexual abuse.
2. Has strict child protection strategies in place for youth groups, children’s ministry.
3. LGBTIQ welcoming. And not only welcoming, but accepting in every sense. No attitudes it is sin. I do not want my children subjected to any views contrary to this.
4. Not fundamentalist, or right wing/conservative. As I see so much unhealthy, cognitively distorted thinking, I choose to avoid and not subject my children to.
5. Not enabling/encouraging child abuse in the form of physical discipline. Which I know is abuse and is domestic violence.
6. Don’t victimise victims further with more abuse – pushing forgiveness, reconciliation etc with abusive people and shaming the victims – as the ‘bad’ people, if they don’t.
7. Must understand 1st Century Biblical context.
8. Must be led by spiritually progressed leaders, who are not stuck at stage 3 in faith progression.

That moment when you realise you are simply narcissistic supply.

I’ve realised something about narcissistic people. They often are the ones living their life out on facebook, constantly posting several times a day, constantly seeking validation and approval of their lives. They often have a lot of FB ‘friends’, but very few real friendships. It’s not just about selfies, it is the constant seeking of approval of who they are, from anyone who will feed that to them. And you are made to feel obliged to participate in their ego fest on Facebook.

To the narcissistic person, other people only serve one purpose – attention, validation of their existence, feed the ego, listen to and be there for all their problems, but they actually don’t care about anyone else. They will pay lip service to other people’s issues, but nothing more. They will talk for hours about their own problems, and you are expected to talk for hours about their problems. But they will be bored and uninterested when you speak about your problems.

They are emotional vampires. Feeding on others. Giving nothing back.