Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Second church visit, did not go so well. Over it already.


I truly wish I did not even have to consider church and church people. Their high levels of cognitive distortions, unwise thinking and capacity to harm people – spiritually – as well as in all other ways, bothers me greatly.

I really tried to see going to a church as a positive. As per my previous blog about the first visit. But, I already see the minister has ‘rose coloured glasses’ issues. As so many church people do. They think it is good to ‘only see the good and ignore/avoid the bad’. It’s actually very unwise and dangerous. This is what leads to harmful behaviours and abuse occurring. That bothers me. Doesn’t seem to bother most church people though.

It is interesting that Jesus did not model seeing only the good in people. He got pretty angry at people doing wrong, being abusive. He certainly didn’t pander to it, avoid it, condone it etc. He confronted it.

The youth group is ceasing to exist at the end of this term. And this was my driving force to attending. So my driving motivation, has gone.

We’ve only been twice. I’ve already had enough thinking about it. (I am exhausted due to insomnia, which isn’t helping).

I’m not intending discussing it with my counsellor, who is a church person and also a rose coloured glasses wearer- when it comes to church and church people. I will pick up on the irritation I have seen before when discussing my views about church people. I will also pick up on the defensive attitude I have witnessed many times.

It’s easier to avoid allowing this to happen. Church people don’t allow opinions different to their own, is my ongoing experience. They shame you with their fixed and limited opinions and views.

Like most people in society.


Update 10/11/15

I did end up discussing the church issues with my doctor/counsellor. Who is a church person. She was actually confirming of my concerns and my views on what I see and the deeper/bigger picture issues of certain common church attitudes.  She agreed ‘rose coloured glasses wearing’, is indeed common, unwise and dangerous. She also confirmed it is unlikely I will find a church minister who thinks to the depth I do. As most people don’t and that includes church people and ministers. So, she wasn’t irritated or defensive. Which was good, because I was not in the mood for it.

We discussed the good things at the church… how my children remain where I can see them, my children like going, my husband was okay with it, we enjoy the singing and group prayer, the people are friendly. So, even if the minister is not what I personally need in terms of spiritual growth…..the positives are safe enough to continue for now.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Second church visit, did not go so well. Over it already.

  1. I completely agree with you. After I started recovering from my own C-PTSD, I have developed an increased dislike for religious institutions for the same reasons.

    I hate lies and omissions, especially when it involves very serious issues. The “rose colored glasses” that you mention create a perfect environment for more abuses and suffering. I want the truth, nothing but the truth.

    • I completely understand how you feel ❤

      It bothers me greatly when people have clear distorted thinking, that creates an unsafe environment.
      I realise it is often not intentional. People can be deluded into believing that 'seeing only the good' in people – is being a nice, non judgmental person. Church people in particular feel they 'must' be like this, or they are not a 'good Christian'.
      All I see, is people who are unwise, acting from a place of self needs, unaware or unwilling to consider the consequences of their actions/attitudes and the resulting issues from that.
      It does not promote a feeling of trust, safety, or peace within me.

  2. “. It is easier to avoid letting this happen” FINALLY

  3. You are talented, intelligent, brilliant….however, everytime you start on the Churchpeople Subject………It does Not lead to credibility. Your (and others) life is complex enough…Just stick to credible people , Pete Walker, other therapist that recommend your site…….and read the bible if you like.