Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Applying further advice, about boundaries & trust.


In counselling, we discussed trust and how not to even trust a church minister, until they have proven their trustworthiness. And how trust is only built in a healthy way… slowly.

There is no doubt, that my boundaries, have been a work in progress and continue to be. But, I  learn by my mistakes.

I’ve made mistakes trusting people too soon, or not having healthy personal boundaries with new people in my life. And giving away too much of myself, too quickly. I’ve made unwise choices, and even recently, this has shown to be something I still need to work on.

So, I have been reflecting about social media. I have become Facebook friends with a group of people recently, that I barely know. So, upon reflection, why I am letting basically strangers into my private space, on social media, on my own personal facebook account?

It is not a wise decision, to have people I barely know, and have had maybe one or two group conversations with, into my personal life. It’s common to do that on social media, but still not healthy, or wise.


So, those I have not yet built up any relationship with, and therefore no trust, are now set as acquaintances. I don’t want to unfriend them, but I will utilise the facebook privacy settings. And those acquaintances  won’t see any of my posts, or any of my family photos etc, until I know them better.

Only people I actually know, and have some level of relationship with and trust, will be allowed into my personal space.

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When reflecting more, I wouldn’t let a stranger into my home, so why would I allow a stranger, into my personal life on social media?

And I won’t be ‘friending’ anyone on my personal account in the future, until I actually know them. Which is far more wise and far healthier personal boundaries.

I choose to reflect, learn and grow through every situation and every opportunity that arises for personal growth.

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Applying further advice, about boundaries & trust.

  1. I totally agree with you. We have to learn how to set boundaries which is difficult for many of us.

  2. Good for you in setting boundaries and being fully accountable to your way of being. Trust and boundaries are very tough for those of us living life after a childhood of traumatic experiences. Practice does make it easier. I would like to add that trusting one self is vital before practicing trust with others.

  3. Thank you for this today! I have the same issue and it is difficult to dial back our joy at having new people in our lives, but we must. I don’t do any social media, but I blog, but just my book. Yes, slowly is the way to do everything when it comes to new people in your life, I could not agree more. If I feel pushed, I now push back and I am always surprised by the results, I always feel better protecting my boundaries and I don’t care what someone claims to be, the Achilles heel of an abuser is someone who takes things slowly, that’s the only certainty. They are sicker than we are smart. Very good post, thanks again.

  4. Thank you all ❤

    Yes, boundaries are not a natural strength in those of us who had a toxic, abusive childhood. We didn't have boundaries modelled, and in fact normal boundaries were abused continually.

    So healthy personal boundaries are something we learn in adulthood and I have been conscious of improving mine continually.

    It is far safer and protective for us, when we learn healthy boundaries and we insist on them with others too.