Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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A chatterbox and tears.

My son’s school friend, was playing with a chatterbox this morning. I haven’t seen one of those, since I was in school. I used to make loads of them.

I told my son I would make him one, when he came home from school. And so I did.

I remembered how to make it, but as I was folding the paper, I could feel emotions welling up. Along with anxiety. No idea why, other than this is a reminder of my childhood in general, which was not a good one.

I tried to contain my emotions, as I wanted this to be a fun activity with my 6 year old. We worked out what numbers and colours, and wrote funny things for people to do.

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I had to really focus on what I was doing, and focus on my son, and try really hard, to not allow the emotions to end up being tears.

But, once my son skipped off, ready to try his chatterbox out on his brother, the tears welled up in my eyes.

I hate my past interfering with my life now, when it involves my children. I don’t want my past, to be a part of Continue reading


Narcissists, often have a persecution/paranoia complex, along with entitlement.

http://winning-teams.com/definitions.html

Along with a sense of entitlement, narcissism also means these disordered personalities, will often have a persecution/paranoia complex.

I’ve seen this very recently, in a female narcissist. This woman feels ‘entitled’ to break the law (e.g. speeding and had to do community service due to this to retain her licence), stealing at a gardening show (I was so embarrassed seeing her do that) and all the lying. A total entitlement attitude. Why should she stick to the law, or have common decency? Why should she be a decent person and tell the truth? Lying is her entitlement. Because she is a narcissist. They believe they are special, and above the law. They don’t believe they need to conform to virtues such as honesty, integrity, decency, considering the rights of others. This is all combined with self confessed jealousy/envy issues. Typical of narcissists.

What I also noted which I have seen similarities in with narcissists, is the persecution complex. Repeatedly stating the police are ‘persecuting her and her daughter’ about child abuse. The fact that she thinks her or her daughter as ‘so special’ – that the police would want to waste their time persecuting them, is bizarre.

But, when faced with any accountability for actions/breaking the law/abuse, of course the police are ‘persecuting them’. It’s BS of course. Breaking the law results in the police rightly being involved and doing their job. And when it comes to child abuse – thank God for the police doing their job. And the guilty verdict of abuse to a child, shows there was sufficient evidence. Which of course, is ‘all lies’ according to a narcissist. Then it’s about a whole group of people persecuting them.

Narcissists will do anything to avoid responsibility and accountability. They will do anything to avoid facing the truth about themselves. They lie, deceive, invent stories, and blame anyone, but themselves. They will willingly destroy other people if needed, to protect their own fragile narcissistic ego.

And the paranoia, is evident. The paranoia is a way of blaming someone else. When actually deep down, they know the real issue is themselves. And that’s why they are paranoid. But they cannot bear to admit this, even to themselves. Leading to all the narcissistic behaviours of Continue reading