It’s very much a society drive to only have positive thinking. It’s very new age, very unhealthy, and dangerous. I’ve always had un uneasy feeling, about this drive to only have positive thinking. It’s always been a red flag, to me.Now, I understand why.
When you have ‘only positive thinking’, and refuse to see the negatives/issues in people/situations, it becomes potentially dangerous. Because there are many people, with dangerous, unhealthy motivations and thinking.
To avoid the ‘red flags’ and cues for unhealthy people, is to enable the negative, which promotes more toxic and unhealthy behaviours. And that’s how people get harmed, get abused, get treated badly.
It may an ego trip for many, or an avoidance issue, or a coping strategy – to only focus on the positives in people, but it isn’t healthy, or dealing with truth or reality.
I see this is how abuse occurs. It’s why it occurs all too often in families, in churches, in workplaces etc. Anywhere. People avoid, ignore, justify etc, negatives/unhealthy issues in people. And that simply enables and encourages them. And to validate their own issues, they demand others are judgmental. Judgment has becomes the cop out excuse for anything said, that doesn’t fit with unhealthy people’s thinking. Not all negative views about people, is judgment. It can be discernment, if it comes from someone with the capacity to detect/see issues in people.
With church people, cognitive distortions are often wrongly coupled with this demand for those harmed to ‘just forgive/show mercy’ etc. That toxic demand makes the situation easier to deal with. If you place the shame onto the victim, it deals with the situation faster and easier. Shame shifting is commonplace in church/religious people. It is why I have no desire to get to know people at the church I attend.
This is how happens in many other areas of life too. And it’s dangerous and unhealthy, and continually encourages unhealthy, toxic people.
Some people choose to refuse to see the bad in people. Or in themselves. Rose coloured glasses wearing, makes life easier. I’ve seen this happen many times.
Some people have ego trips over ‘positive only thinking’. They wrongly believe it makes them a better/nicer person. They often tell others they are wrong, to have negative thoughts about people and situations. Simply to validate their own unhealthy thinking and egos. People are shamed for not having ‘positive only thinking’ and made to feel like they are wrong, to see the good, bad, and ugly. I’ve seen these ego trips occur many times, also.
People will do anything, no matter how bizarre, to validate their own issues. To avoid self insight. To avoid the harder road of truth.
Society, some religions and new age BS, may be continually pushing positive only thinking, and demand anything else is wrong/judgment etc…. but in fact have no insight into this being their own disordered thinking. And how they are simply using a variety of different cognitive distortions, to cope with life, in a non courageous and non truthful way.
Being a realist and focussing on truth, is not a road many choose to travel. It’s not pleasant like the ‘positive only thinking’ types.
But, a realist I am. And I’ve been told, it is far more courageous and honest, truth seeking path.