Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I crave & need peace, far more than I crave or need people.

My gardens and gardening, are a real part of my healing. It is where I retreat to, whenever I am struggling, emotional, hurt, irritable… as well as where I go for relaxation, to think and to pray.

Everyone needs to find a way to cope, manage and find some peace. My gardens are mine.

It hasn’t escaped my notice, that being alone and not being around people, is an increasing need.

It’s bizarre that I have spent 40 years of my life craving being with people and ‘needing’ people …….. and now I prefer and have more peace – being completely alone.

In the past, I had a huge fear of being alone. And now this has turned into my greatest need.

Aloneness, is now my friend. Not my enemy.

Some would say I have swung from one side of the continuum, to Continue reading

Actions often express priorities.

action expresses priority

When someone makes it clear from their actions, that you are not a priority, or even valued equally to others – I don’t ignore it anymore.

It acts as a reality check for me. As happened today. And although it’s not pleasant, I’d rather know where I stand, than believe a situation to be different to the reality.

I’ve learned in life, the only person that I can rely/depend on, is myself. It’s the way it’s always been. And it continues. I’d rather deal with the honest reality, than delude myself. Continue reading


From a girl, to a (wiser) woman.

a woman


I’ve gone through these stages. Which are common in women who have been sexually abused as children.

Now, I am very much at the point of knowing my physical shell, is nothing more than that. My value is not determined, by my outer shell, or sexuality. I no longer need validation from others.

What is important to me now, is character, integrity, values, inner strength, virtues and heart/soul. Continue reading