The more I read about what is required in childhood, the more I know how traumatic my own childhood was. As well as all the many forms of severe and ongoing abuse I endured, there was also considerable emotional and psychological neglect.
This article shows how much parenting affects children and the adult they become.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151221194130.htm
It makes me so sad to know how terrible my childhood was, but also it shows how good and positive my own parenting for my children is.
Despite all the abuse and neglect, I do know how to give my own children everything I did not have. My children are loved, are shown appropriate affection, they feel safe, cherished, supported and loved. And I achieve this, even having severe PTSD and travelling through my healing journey.
Considering all I endured as a child, and all the positive parenting that was never modelled, I do pretty well as a mother to my own children.
Being a mother, is not easy, but I am an example of a person who endured considerable abuse and neglect, yet does well as a parent. So the excuse of having a bad childhood and bad parents, to me is not an excuse for continuing generational poor parenting.
I’ve never assumed I know it all as a parent. I’ve never assumed I don’t need to learn how to be a good parent. I’ve read and researched so much, plus I ask wise people for advice. This is how I know what it takes to be a good parent. Because I made the effort to learn. I love my children enough to make sure I know everything I can and do everything I can, to give them a good enough childhood.
Being a good parent, is possible for everyone, because there is enough advice out there, enough quality websites and books.
It is a choice to be a good parent. A choice I made and continue to make every day. It takes the capacity to lose the ego, and learn. Not something everyone chooses. But, I do.
Being a bad parent is also a choice. And having a bad childhood – is not an excuse for continuing on the poor/bad/abusive parenting.
