My Complex PTSD and PTSD, were caused by severe and ongoing trauma, severe abuse (of every kind) and neglect, throughout my entire childhood, by highly disordered people, who fit on the narcissism/ sociopath/ psychopath spectrum.
These people were ruthless, unrelenting, cold, calculating people… causing abuse they knew was wrong, because they all threatened me into silence and did it behind closed doors. This being clear evidence of their abuse being conscious, pre-meditated, deliberate, intentional harm…. and they knew it was wrong. They weren’t unaware of their abuse. They absolutely knew. And they did it anyway. And I know this is sadly the same situation, for many other survivors of abuse.
Complex PTSD is caused by ongoing interpersonal trauma – ongoing abuse caused by people. PTSD can be caused by interpersonal trauma too, but can also be caused by non interpersonal trauma.
So, when I write and post about the devastating, life impacting, horrendous complex trauma, abuse and suffering those on the narcissist/psychopath etc spectrum cause, I’m doing so, to validate and support those who have endured this ongoing and horrendous abuse. And the life impacting and often lifelong consequences of it.
I write, because I realised due to feedback, I have a way of writing that is relatable and can express things many can’t.
But, people should note, I never speak of….. revenge, retaliation, wanting people to suffer back etc. I don’t believe in karma, nor do I want karma to occur. So, I do not post about these highly abusive people simply to bash them, or hate on them, or condemn them, or to condone any form of abuse/harm back to them. I’ve always known all these are wrong too. And I’ve never wanted any of them. And I don’t condone, or encourage them, in any way.
I write about these highly abusive people, to support the survivors. Because they did not have a choice, or deserve the abuse. To validate the survivor’s pain and suffering. To give hope that someone understands, to give hope about the healing process. Not simply to bash abusers.
I write about toxic abusive people, to raise awareness of these types of people, so others may spot the signs and not be hurt as badly as I was. Society needs to know these people exist and in greater numbers than is generally known. Only education, helps manage and deal with issues and only education can help reduce the abuse caused.
I write, to speak the truth about the pain and suffering abusive people cause. And how it can often be very intentional and conscious abuse.
I write, to give a far more real and honest insight into the intentions and motivations of many abusers. Rather than the all too often common, unwise and dishonest attitudes of… making excuses for them, rationalising the abuse, minimizing the abuse, encouraging victims to suppress the pain, forgive too quickly, shame shifting and all the victim blaming, victim shaming etc that occurs everywhere.
I write because it is needed. For the survivors. To help reduce further victims/survivors.
Pretending these abusive people don’t exist, making endless excuses for them, pretending rationalising their abuse is compassion (it’s not), victim blaming/shaming and ignoring the gravity of the epidemic of abuse and child abuse… is all very dangerous, unhelpful, lacking in compassion for survivors and very unwise.
I am someone who deals with reality, and honesty. Not distorted thinking that self soothes, or makes me feel better. I cannot lie to myself to feel better.
This was all confirmed in my counselling session today, as being a place of truth many do not seek.
But, for those who do seek truth, they will relate and it also for the truth seekers, I write.