Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Surprised by the amount of requests to join a ladies chat group.

I’ve been considering setting up a ladies group, for meeting up for coffee and chat. I’ve considered all the potential positives and negatives. I wasn’t sure it would attract anyone requesting to join, but in less than 24 hours of the group going live, I already over 46 group members!

A friend of mine I mentioned the group to, confirmed she would like to join too. So, I already know one person.

I have to arrange a location, date and time, and go ahead and let everyone know 🙂

When setting up the group, I decided to mention the group is for mature minded people, as I want to attract mature people. It is necessary to set the tone of the type of group I am wanting to develop. Continue reading

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Compulsive liars, are morally bankrupt & emotional abusers.

Liars, who continually lie to avoid accountability, to be devious and manipulative, are being emotional abusers.

And I don’t mean the little white lies. I mean lying about the important things in life. To avoid being ‘caught out’. To manipulate people. To do things they should not be doing.

And worse, is when they then tell more lies, to cover the lies they already told. And if that fails – try to blame the person they are compulsively lying to, followed by the silent treatment.

It’s a pattern I have seen all too often. It’s deeply selfish and abusive to the person being lied to, if the person is a partner, or relative, or friend. And when there is no remorse, no conscience, no guilt, no shame, it’s even worse.

lies and truth

And compulsive, or pathological lying are never about…. love, respect, or dignity. Lying is the opposite. A complete lack of love, respect, dignity for the other person. It’s also very immature and quite pathetic. It’s a lack of courage. A lack of integrity. A lack of decency. And often a sign of a personality disorder. Continue reading

I believe boys should play with dolls.

I see many inappropriate attitudes, about boys not playing with dolls…. And how dolls are only for girls to play with. Hence why the doll aisles in toy shops, are predominantly pink. *sigh.

What are they scared of??? That their son will turn into a  ………. good father?

Maybe if there more boys being encouraged to be caring and gentle when they are children, it would better impact who they become when they are adults.

I don’t believe in gender specific toys/playing. I believe in gender neutral toys/playing.

I think the world might be a nicer place, if everyone thought like this too. And I am aware many child psychology & development experts, encourage the same thinking I have.

It makes perfect sense to me, and I believe it would lead to less abuse and less domestic violence.

It is such a bad start to a male child’s life, to be shamed for their natural desire for, and wanting to play with dolls. Continue reading

I love how more women are starting to focus only on inner beauty.

“How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead “You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are — you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say, “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

 Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture. Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.”

~ Sarah Koppelkam

Continue reading