Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It’s really painful when abuse is minimized & trivialised.

I’ve had this happen all my life. Everyone who has abused me and treated me badly, has lied about it, made excuses, minimized it, blamed me etc. And those around them, do the exactly the same.

I’ve spent my entire life, having to deal with the pain – that minimizing and trivialising ongoing intentional abuse/harm, causes. And seeing people making excuses for abusers, who have consciously and intentionally caused a lot of harm.

I’m over my past being dragged into it. My past has nothing to do with why toxic people, cause harm. That’s their issues. I am not tolerating my past being the scapegoat – to excuse their lies/deception/manipulation…. when they were like they are, way before I was part of their life. Continue reading


It’s a weird place to be, having more insight into people, than they do of themselves.

I’ve had it confirmed many times within counselling, I have a depth of insight and capacity to work people out, that is very unusual.

I’ve also had it confirmed I often know and understand people, their motivations, their issues…. more than most people, will ever understand of themselves.

It’s a weird place to be in. Especially when you see why people are doing something, and it’s for not the reason they will say it’s about. Or they are struggling, because they are not facing something about themselves. Or they are blaming others, for issues that are really their own.

It’s a weird place to be in when you know people are not being honest, with themselves, or with others.

It’s a weird place be in, when you cannot express any of this to people, because they will be upset, or offended, or defensive. As most people don’t want to know the truth about themselves. And it’s not my place or job, to tell people.

It’s a weird place to be.

And the way I deal with this, is to have a lot of self control… to not speak about what I see. And knowing it’s not my responsibility, to tell people the truth, unless they ask for it. And if they do…. trying to be sensitive and careful, in what I say. And trying to only speak, when I know it may help and in a way that will have a positive affect.

I don’t speak up in situations, where I know there is going to be a highly defensive reaction, and the person will not ‘hear’ what I am saying, at all. I don’t say things that are truthful but really hurtful, just for the sake of being truthful. There has to be some good reason, why I speak up.

It has to be to help that person. Not just to vent. I will ask myself first “Is this compassionate towards this person? Do they really need to hear it? Is this my place to say something? How can I say this in a way that it will help them?”. Often I keep quiet.

Continue reading