I’ve had it confirmed many times within counselling, I have a depth of insight and capacity to work people out, that is very unusual.
I’ve also had it confirmed I often know and understand people, their motivations, their issues…. more than most people, will ever understand of themselves.
It’s a weird place to be in. Especially when you see why people are doing something, and it’s for not the reason they will say it’s about. Or they are struggling, because they are not facing something about themselves. Or they are blaming others, for issues that are really their own.
It’s a weird place to be in when you know people are not being honest, with themselves, or with others.
It’s a weird place be in, when you cannot express any of this to people, because they will be upset, or offended, or defensive. As most people don’t want to know the truth about themselves. And it’s not my place or job, to tell people.
It’s a weird place to be.
And the way I deal with this, is to have a lot of self control… to not speak about what I see. And knowing it’s not my responsibility, to tell people the truth, unless they ask for it. And if they do…. trying to be sensitive and careful, in what I say. And trying to only speak, when I know it may help and in a way that will have a positive affect.
I don’t speak up in situations, where I know there is going to be a highly defensive reaction, and the person will not ‘hear’ what I am saying, at all. I don’t say things that are truthful but really hurtful, just for the sake of being truthful. There has to be some good reason, why I speak up.
It has to be to help that person. Not just to vent. I will ask myself first “Is this compassionate towards this person? Do they really need to hear it? Is this my place to say something? How can I say this in a way that it will help them?”. Often I keep quiet.
There is a wise saying that ‘everyone says they want to know the truth, but the truth is often a pill too bitter to swallow’. And I see clearly how true this is.
People have no idea how much self control I have. Or how much I don’t say.
It is a weird place to be.