Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Being real, is being honest. I don’t like fake.


real quote

For a long time, I have been aware of the falseness of the ‘positivity fountains’, who demand we all do the same. It basically promotes being fake. And I don’t do fake.

I would rather someone tell me all their problems and be honest, than fake a smile and fake being positive.

A lot of advice is given about only being around ‘positive people’. And this advice is given by many mental health professionals. Yet, it promotes the very thing I hate – being fake.

Most people have some level of shit going on. Yet fake smiles, fake words, fake their life on social media.

And when you fake positivity, you are not dealing with the issues you have, and worse, you are never dealing with the reasons for those issues. So, it is such a hypocritical statement for mental health professionals to make ‘be around positive people only’. So all of those being real, who have issues and are not faking a smile, get ignored.

And I’m not suggesting we walk around in tears telling every person we come across our woes. I mean those who are friends and loved ones.

I don’t like fake. It’s dishonesty at it’s root. I don’t like dishonesty. And I can often work out those who are faking it.

And it promotes shame in people who think they have to fake being positive and can’t maintain it. They feel like failures and shamed by the positivity fountains.

People say being positive is strength, and shame people who are not positive. They shame people for being real and honest, whilst being fake and dishonest. Bizarre.

I’m the kind of person, who is real in relationships and friendships. I’ll talk about problems, I’ll be there when a friend or loved one, are suffering. I don’t do shallow and false.

I prefer people to be honest and real. Yet, most people are not.

Being honest and real, takes more courage, it means more effort is required to help people. It means having empathy and giving someone your time, for them to talk and share. And it takes someone who is genuine in their care and love for people.

Jesus didn’t go around telling everyone to fake being positive. He helped people who were distraught and real with Him. He helped those suffering. He didn’t say ‘shame on you for not faking a positive life’. Or ‘I’m not going to talk to you, or bother with you, because I prefer the positive people’.

Jesus told us to bear one another’s burdens, help the needy, the poor, those in distress. He didn’t say – “avoid them – because they are not positive enough”.

But, mostly all I see in this world, are people being told to be fake, dishonest, selfish and avoid anything that isn’t positive. And I know it’s not Jesus promoting any of that.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

2 thoughts on “Being real, is being honest. I don’t like fake.

  1. Here is another thing people say. “SMILE”

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