Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Met with a bunch of ladies & it went well :)

I recently set up a group for mature minded ladies, interested in meeting new people, for coffee and chat. The first get-together was this morning. I really did not want to go. Not because of the group, but because I’ve had a shit few days. Like really shit.

But, I went, because I arranged it, I was hosting it and I don’t like letting people down. So, I went along and 7 other ladies attended. They ranged from mid 40’s to 60’s in age, which is great. I relate more to people older than myself.

I was mindful of all the stuff I have been processing, about not being a beacon to the emotional vampire types. Not being too funny, kooky, quirky and all that stuff. Just taking it easy.

I was friendly and engaged in conversation that was taking place between the other ladies around me. I made sure I spoke to each lady and asked a few questions and didn’t give away much about myself. Boundaries and all that jazz. The conversations were mostly general stuff about their lives, families etc.

One lady is really into gardening and showed a few of us piccies of all her cute garden décor, which is similar to mine. I told her I love gardening too and she was really excited to let me know she belongs to a ladies gardening group in my area, and they get together and chat and swap plants etc. I was invited to come along, and I’m thinking about it. I didn’t just jump straight in to saying yes.

It was enjoyable and the ladies have commented on the group page, how friendly and relaxing the group was and they enjoyed it. So judging by their feedback, they felt it went really well.

I was fine, I handled it all okay. I kept my anxiety managed okay. I don’t think any of the ladies would have known I have social anxiety issues, especially with new people. Of course, my hyper-vigilance was working overtime. As is my normal.

But, on the top of already feeling overwhelmed, I realised when I got home, my stress levels were through the roof. I sat down and watched some TV, to chill out. I got up and nearly passed out. If there hadn’t been something nearby to hold onto, I would have fallen onto the floor. I was so dizzy I couldn’t see and my arm started shaking.

I’m really glad  the group meet, went so well. I’m glad I didn’t cancel. But, it was more than my body could handle, due to all the stress I am currently enduring.

I’m so glad I didn’t pass out at the coffee meet up! That would so not have been a good start, at the first meet up! :-O Thank God, that didn’t happen until I got home!

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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