Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Why dealing with the truth, is a lonely road.


I’ve realised, when you take most people too close to the truth, and it will affect their lives in a way they perceive to be a negative ….. they will tell you, you are wrong. They will protect their own beliefs, and needs for those beliefs, anyway they can.

I’ve realised, my own counsellor has never been comfortable with me getting too close to the truth. She has never encouraged this. It was a journey I made, on my own. It would make her job easier, if I would not go there. And instead minimize my suffering, make excuses for those who caused it and find some positive spin/reason for it all. And I am not prepared to do that.

But, the ongoing issues created by having my understanding of what happened to me and my understanding about those who caused all the abuse …. invalidated by my own counsellor, is so hurtful. And really painful. The levels of irritation in her voice, the condescending tone/words and the outright rejection of what I was saying at my last appointment, were too much for me to handle. I will never talk to her again.

I realise, I am alone in my journey. I worked it all out alone, and I will have to deal with it alone. I’ve been alone all my life. I realise, this is how it will always be. And accepting this, is something I have to face, grieve and deal with.







Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

9 thoughts on “Why dealing with the truth, is a lonely road.

  1. how do you circumvent the depression and suisidal ideation that comes with this journey? im 49 and dealing with it now is very difficult.

  2. I’m so sorry your therapist has reacted in such a way. I’m assuming she specialized in trauma. I’ve had a number of bad experiences but the therapist I have now is wonderful. she is always validating. when she challenges me it is gentle and not on abuse but maybe on how i’m handling something now. I always feel safe to tell her how i feel and I believe her when she says she wants me to share as much as I can or want and will be there to listen to more as needed.
    Please look for a new therapist. Doing it alone is so difficult.

  3. You are not alone. There are people reading your blog who know better than to minimize your pain because we are fighting the same battle. We are here to support you on your journey. But…it is true that we each have to find the truths in our own story…and that is something only we can do.

  4. Is this the same one. Is she still doing this. I’m so sorry they aren’t capable of facing that with you. She should keep all her opinions and condescending tones to herself. Only the brave venture down the Rd you have and she shouldn’t be taking it away from you. She is there to help you or should be. I’m sorry. X

  5. Please know you are never alone! Not only do you have your followers on your blog but you also always have God to talk to! You have inspired so many others with the great amount of courage and strength you have to not only survive this horrible trauma and abuse, but to also share your thoughts, emotions, and anguish to help others. I pray you find a different counselor that can better assist you and your personal needs. Don’t give up!! Sending love and prayers for your healing!!

  6. Thank you everyone for your kind and supportive messages. I do really appreciate it.

    I am so overwhelmed at the moment, and struggling to know I now have to face this completely alone, with no professional support. I have no-one else I can talk to about any of my journey, past etc, It creates deep fear within me and I know I will grieve the loss of another significant person in my life.

  7. Do try find another therapist some day, if you can. You deserve validation. Best wishes x

  8. I’m so sorry that you are being invalidated this way!

    I thought of you today when I read the following on Page 269 of Pete Walker’s book Complex PTSD…..

    “1. EMPATHY I used to assume that the merits of empathy were a given, but I have sadly heard too many stories of empathy-impoverished therapy. In this regard, I will simply say here that if we are hard and unsympathetic with our clients, we trigger the same sense of danger and abandonment in them that they experienced with their parents.”

    And also this on same page….

    “Empathy, of course, deepens via careful listening and full elicitation of the client’s experience, along with the time-honored techniques of mirroring and paraphrasing which show the client the degree to which we get him.”

    Lily, you deserve to be heard and validated.

    • Thank you ❤

      I think you have found the section of Pete Walkers book, that hits the nail on the head, as to why I am struggling so much in counselling.

      I think we all deserve considerable empathy, understanding, a sense of safety and trust. Without it, the likelihood of healing, is greatly reduced.

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