I’ve realised, when you take most people too close to the truth, and it will affect their lives in a way they perceive to be a negative ….. they will tell you, you are wrong. They will protect their own beliefs, and needs for those beliefs, anyway they can.
I’ve realised, my own counsellor has never been comfortable with me getting too close to the truth. She has never encouraged this. It was a journey I made, on my own. It would make her job easier, if I would not go there. And instead minimize my suffering, make excuses for those who caused it and find some positive spin/reason for it all. And I am not prepared to do that.
But, the ongoing issues created by having my understanding of what happened to me and my understanding about those who caused all the abuse …. invalidated by my own counsellor, is so hurtful. And really painful. The levels of irritation in her voice, the condescending tone/words and the outright rejection of what I was saying at my last appointment, were too much for me to handle. I will never talk to her again.
I realise, I am alone in my journey. I worked it all out alone, and I will have to deal with it alone. I’ve been alone all my life. I realise, this is how it will always be. And accepting this, is something I have to face, grieve and deal with.