Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I no longer believe God loves me.

I’ve tried really hard throughout the last 4 years, to believe God loves me. I’ve tried to reconcile a loving God, with all the suffering he allows. I can no longer reconcile this.

I do believe in God, but I don’t believe he loves me. Allowing terrible suffering to go on, is not love. Allowing children to be abused, sexually abused, neglected, is not love.

I will do anything within my capacity to love my children, not hurt them, not allow other people to hurt them. To protect them. I would never just stand by and watch my children suffer, and do nothing. I couldn’t stand by and watch anyone suffer and do nothing. But God does. Jesus does.

And I cannot delude myself any longer that I am loved, when it is so obvious, I am not. Continue reading