I am very aware of the devastation these highly abusive people cause.
They destroy lives, and have no remorse, no conscience, no guilt, no shame.
There are many victims who end their lives, due to severe pain and suffering caused to them, by these highly abusive people.
And they all know exactly what they are doing. They know it’s wrong. They know it’s abuse.
They just don’t care. And they often enjoy and gain pleasure from harming others.
There are people who demand we should feel sorry for them, based on some kind of trauma or abuse they may have been subjected to.
But, the disorders they have, or the possible trauma they have endured, are never excuses to harm others and they are still 100% responsible and accountable for their ‘choices’ of behaviour. Their mental health issues, do not render them incapable of making other choices. They do not render them incapable of resisting abusing others.
So, whilst I do not ever want anyone to have endured abuse, child abuse, trauma….. I will not feel sorry for the highly abusive people they choose to become.
And no victims/survivor of these abusers, should be shamed into having to feel sorry for the people who devastated their lives.
The survivors, are entitled and need to feel the full range of emotions about what they endured, including anger and disgust.
Those who engage in ‘shame-shifting’ by suggesting the victim is wrong for having normal, healthy and needed emotions, about the vile and abhorrent abuse, they were made to endure….. are further abusing the victim.
The survivor of the abuse, needs to feel every emotion necessary, and their healing journey has no time limit.
Healing takes as long as it takes, and it can be a lifelong journey. There is no shame in this. The only shame required, is meant to felt by the abuser who caused the harm.
And the issue of forgiveness, is a very personal issue, and no-one ‘must’ forgive. Some acts of abuse and suffering, are unforgivable. And again, no-one has the right to shame the survivor about this. You are free to forgive and free not to forgive.
I am very thankful, to see this poster shared via Twitter, by mental health professionals, as well as survivors of severe abuse.