I still remember when I started this blog and I was so excited and surprised, when it had even a few views per day. I did not expect at all, for this blog to become the success it is. And it still feels a little surreal, to know that so many people are reading stuff I have written, all round the world. It still feels bizarre.
I guess those many voices and messages I’ve heard and endured throughout my life, telling me I am worthless and only any good for being treated badly, with no respect and all the terrible things done to me and said about me…… are still there.
But, this blog and it’s success…. challenge those voices, those attitudes, those opinions. And completely prove how all those voices, were wrong. Very wrong.
Who I am is defined not by what they did, but defined by all I have overcome. Becoming a caring, empathic person with integrity, honesty and a conscience. Overcoming every single abusive person, every single abusive action I suffered. Overcoming decades of severe abuse, to be someone so very different to every abusive person who tried to destroy me. No matter how much they projected their own self hatred and darkness, onto someone they knew was vulnerable…. no matter how much they wanted to make me suffer…… I did suffer, and yet I survived and overcame it and became the opposite of their dark souls.
I’ve suffered and survived what was meant to kill me. Overcome what was meant to cause deep suffering. Overcome multiple highly abusive people.
And I’ve come through all that – decades of abuse – and everything I am, everything I think, everything I process, everything I write…… is validated by all the feedback I receive. Including from many mental health professionals and those in the trauma and abuse field.
I do matter. I do deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Who I am, is helping many people, every day in a valuable and meaningful way.
So, I will take a moment, to digest this. And realise just how much I have been through and yet survived. With the immense amount of courage needed to survive my history. And think about and digest, all I have achieved. And who I am.
I am a valuable, worthy, good person.
I am not what they did to me, or their opinions of me.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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