It’s my little boys birthday tomorrow. Today, I went with my husband, to buy his presents and cards. My husband bought breakfast and coffee for us. He’s worried about me. He knows I’m not okay.
Throughout the whole day, it’s been as though I were out of my body, looking at myself. I could hear noises, voices, but they were muted. It’s all in slow motion.
In a haze, I picked out gifts, cards. Just numbness. I have no connection to my emotions. It’s like I’m hollow. An outer shell, walking around, doing what I need to do. But, I’ve left my body. I’m not connected to myself.
I have to do this. It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow.
I have to be okay tomorrow.