I’ve learned my lesson. I will never discuss mental health, with a church person again.

I’m aware a lot of church people, who think they are Christians, believe all mental illness, is demonic. I’ve had people tell me I am demonic. I’ve had insinuations I am a child of the devil. I’ve had church people tell me I need an exorcism. I’ve had church people tell me I have the ‘seeds of Satan within me’, because I’ve been raped 100’s of times, by a paedophile and a psychopath. All spiritual, psychological and emotional abuse. But, they have remorse, no guilt, no shame, no empathy.

I’m aware of the (wrong) literal and abusive interpretations of the Bible. But, I truly did believe, not all church people think like this.

I believed my counsellor (church person) did not believe this. Until I heard her say, that mental health/illness – is ‘the dark side’. Which means demonic and of Satan. And she said this to a whole heap of church people, at a conference. So, they no doubt would all think the same. She wouldn’t have said it otherwise.

I would never have believed I would hear that attitude from her. Of all the things we have different opinions on, I did not ever assume this would be one of them.

It has shocked and devastated me, to a level I cannot even describe. It is a huge betrayal, to know that for 4 years I have talked to this woman, told her things I have never told anyone else. I’ve trusted her more than any person I have ever trusted. And all along, she believes my mental health issues, mean I am demonic, evil, of Satan. I’m on ‘the dark side’.

The repercussions of this, are huge. And on many levels.

These kinds of abusive and incorrect attitudes, promote and worsen stigma about mental health/illness.

These attitudes, re-traumatise those who have mental health issues, caused by abuse.

These attitudes, hurt, harm, abuse and devastate people, who have already been harmed enough.

And I don’t give a fuck what Bible interpretations people wish to choose…… it is a deep lack of empathy and compassion, to say those with mental health issues are all on ‘the dark side’.

Being a mother, always keeps me going.

The last few weeks, have been pretty dire. Lots of issues, lots of realizations, lots of painful stuff to deal with. It’s knocked me around emotionally. Knocked me down. Really down.

I’m aware, when I’m at my lowest, my children are why I keep going.

Today, is my little boys 7th Birthday. We went to the local zoo and he loved it. Seeing him having such fun and seeing the joy in my children, made me know why I keep going.

I could very easily have stayed in bed, and just cried all day. But, I got up, and did what was needed, so my little boy had a great day.

It has been a really good day.

And an exhausting day.

I love my children.

And even when I feel like I have nothing else… I know I have my boys.