I am only with my husband for my children. He knows that and he knows why. He is a lying, devious, manipulative person. He’s told so many lies that I know about, and no doubt many more I don’t know about. He is a compulsive liar. I don’t trust him at all, or have any respect for him.
I just caught him out being devious, hiding something and outright lying about it. And he only admitted to lying, when he no choice but admit it.
His levels of narcissism, selfishness and lack of conscience, are making me ill and are abusive. he’s admitted he lied to me today. But, he looks at me like it’s no big deal. He has no capacity for empathy.
I’m meant to be in relationships where I can learn to trust and heal. And I don’t have that and it is hindering my healing.
But, my marriage makes me ill and if it weren’t for my children, I would have left some time ago. I accept the only reason I got together with him 15 years ago, is because I had really low self esteem and no idea what a decent man acts like. And I have no choice but to stay with him, as I cannot work and support my children myself.
This is a really hard time, with my decision to quit counselling. The last thing I need is my husbands narcissism and lies making me feel worse.
I feel like this is all going to push me over the edge soon. I really don’t know how much more I can handle.