I don’t have words to adequately describe how much pain I feel. On top of everything else I am grieving and feel pain about, I now have more.
I’m aware some people won’t understand how I can be in so much pain over the loss of my counselling relationship, but it’s beyond painful. Especially the way it has ended. Especially what she chose to say, knowing how much it would hurt me, at the worst time.
Even my husband is shocked she hasn’t followed up to check if I’m okay. I’m quite sure she would have a duty of care to check on someone suicidal. She knows I am suicidal. She could have contacted my husband to check I’m okay. She could have emailed me. But, nothing. She clearly couldn’t care less if she pushed me over the edge. Maybe that’s exactly what she wants.
My husband had to come early from work yesterday and he is taking time off today. He knows I am not safe. I know I’m not safe.