Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

More betrayal, more grieving, more pain


I don’t have words to adequately describe how much pain I feel. On top of everything else I am grieving and feel pain about, I now have more.


I’m aware some people won’t understand how I can be in so much pain over the loss of my counselling relationship, but it’s beyond painful. Especially the way it has ended. Especially what she chose to say, knowing how much it would hurt me, at the worst time.

Even my husband is shocked she hasn’t followed up to check if I’m okay. I’m quite sure she would have a duty of care to check on someone suicidal. She knows I am suicidal. She could have contacted my husband to check I’m okay. She could have emailed me. But, nothing. She clearly couldn’t care less if she pushed me over the edge. Maybe that’s exactly what she wants.

My husband had to come early from work yesterday and he is taking time off today. He knows I am not safe. I know I’m not safe.



Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

6 thoughts on “More betrayal, more grieving, more pain

  1. You are safe. and look at all the people you help. All the knowledge you have. You should have been your counselors doctor. she is the one that needs help!!!!

  2. ok so here I go again crossing a boundry. only because I care about you. something is off with you hormonally, i am Not minimizing what you went thru. i would never do that . but from the things you write….something is off …how do I know? because i have Been there ! my hands are tied at this end. I assume you are in your mind 40s…….are you on any med? any nutrients ? maybe you do not want to say–that’s ok, i understand….i hate to read about the pain you are in. You are sooooo intelligent…….more than your ex counselor.

  3. just because someone has a degree do NOT mean they know More than You!!!!! Does not mean they are Not abusive

  4. The person is NOT qualified !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. That is horrible! For someone who has been through so much. At least your husband is there. I also have PTSD and find it very hard to trust people. It is not right what your treatment provider did to you.