Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


It makes me wonder, why people defend paedophiles.

My counsellor has an ongoing issues with having to express her opinion about abusers. Including paedophiles. She likes to think of them, as not that bad really.

This leads to me being constantly triggered and hurt by what feels like minimization of the abuse, and defending the abusers as ‘bad people who can do good’.

Quite frankly, I don’t give a fuck if they can ‘do good’. I care only about all the horrific abuse they believe is absolutely okay to make children suffer. If they ‘do good’ (or more appropriately termed ‘normal’) – it does not in any way make them a good person, whilst also sexually abusing children and destroying their childhoods. Nothing good they can do, will make up for the abhorrent behaviours they choose. Nothing they can do, changes the fact that they are disgusting, vile people.

This ongoing need to voice her opinions, led to me (I was already in a highly emotional state), being triggered massively, when she stated ‘paedophiles can love their own children’.

(My view on that is that is BS. And paedophiles aren’t capable of viewing children appropriately and should NEVER be allowed to have children in their care, including their own. Anyone who believes differently, is enabling paedophiles to access children and carry out their vile, abhorrent, evil desires.)

It was like throwing a grenade at me, and watching it explode. I nearly didn’t make it home alive. It was a highly inappropriate and potentially dangerous statement to make, when I am already having suicide ideation.

I’ve come to realise, her need to voice her opinions, may be personal. Maybe a relative of hers, is a paedophile. Maybe, she ‘has ‘to believe they are capable of good and loving their own children, because this is a very personal issue to her, she needs to believe.

People believe the most bizarre things, to cope.

And the fact that she felt it necessary to vent her opinion, when anyone with any empathy/trauma understanding, would absolutely know not to… is suspicious to me. It’s a red flag to me. It is quite bizarre and always know that is never something good.

Maybe her own father, or brother or someone is a paedophile. It would explain her need to voice her opinions, as being more important than my emotional wellbeing and safety. Continue reading

Complex Trauma survivors, need insightful, empathic therapy.


More info about this, by Pete Walker @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!for-therapists-treating-complex-ptsd/chkc

Trust is a huge issue for many childhood complex trauma survivors. If the client is re-traumatised, harmed by non appropriate therapy, it could be the last time they try to trust anyone.

Therapy needs to be empathic & insightful enough, to keep the client safe, and where trust can grow and develop over time.


Time for a Facebook break.

I know when I am needing time off Facebook, because I start getting irritated with the unwise posts I see travelling around.

When I cannot just ignore it and it starts bothering me, and upsetting me…… I know it’s time to take a break.fbook-fast-21

When I’m struggling, I find unhealthy, toxic or triggering posts, much harder to deal with.

So, I know avoiding it all, is needed.


Continue reading

They were not the ‘good old days of childhood’ for many.

I see many quotes travelling social media…. about how their own childhoods, were the good old days of childhood. How they survived childhood in the 60’s and 70’s and childhood then, was better than a childhood now.

Well, my childhood was really fucked up. I grew up in the 70’s and my childhood was anything but ‘the good old days’.

Many children were being abused and neglected, but people didn’t talk as openly about it then, as they do now.

Abuse and neglect were hidden and kept as family secrets. There was no social media, to talk about it openly. There were few organisations to reach out to for help.

Abuse and neglect were far more easily perpetrated back in the ‘good old days’. It was easier to isolate and control victims, when there was less opportunity to seek help and reach out for support.

I was out all day playing….. and yet this was due to staying out of my mothers way, due to abuse and neglect.

I wandered around the streets near my home, where a paedophile lived, who abused me for years.

My home, my neighbourhood, my childhood, were not ever safe, not good, not fun and definitely not ‘the good old days’. Continue reading

Updated my recommended resources list & reviews page.

My website @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/ is viewed by 100’s of people a day & is recommended and supported by many in the trauma related mental health field.

I am often updating it.

Today, I updated the recommended resources list, after seeking some advice from some therapists.

This is @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!book-recommedationsresources/cnqp

And I updated my reviews/feedback page, because the page has so much info, I could not fit any more on it……… so I made a slideshow for many – which helped with the page size.

My reviews page is @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!reviews-feedback/c1uq6 Continue reading