Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Sure, it’s easier to show grace, mercy & forgiveness, about ‘minimized’ abuse.

I’ve just had one of those light-bulb moments, when I work something out, that is really bothering me.

So many church people minimize abuse. In my short 4 years of being a Christian, I have seen it all too often. I’ve endured spiritual abuse. I’ve endured excuse making, victim shaming, denial of abuse…… I could on.

The reason for many, as to why they choose to minimize abuse, is because it is so much easier to do your Christian duty, when you minimize the vileness of the abuse – down from the vile, abhorrent reality of it…. down to ‘funny thinking’ or making excuses for the abuser, or even denying parts of it.

I’m imagining this big huge bulging cloud of dark heaving trauma & suffering (called abuse) and then a series of clouds reducing down in size, reducing in intensity, reducing in darkness, reducing in pain and suffering, down to a little grey cloud, that is far less heavy, far less bulging with suffering, just has a little pain contained ………. and an arrow pointing at that little grey cloud and the words underneath – as a church person “I forgive the ‘mistakes’ that person made.  We are all sinners. All sin is equal. I show that person who caused that ‘incident’ (abuse) the grace and mercy and compassion God tells us to. And another little thought bubble underneath with Continue reading

Honoured to be invited to contribute to this book.

Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

I am honoured to be invited to be a contributor for this book. Shahida is a gifted writer and is helping many through her books.

Recovery from narcissistic abuse, is not easy, not quick and when endured as a child in particular, it has life long, life impacting consequences. And I don’t minimize this.

Shahida, understand complex trauma and Complex PTSD are some of the consequences of enduring these personality disorder, abusive people. I am deeply thankful, to be asked to contribute, due to my knowledge and experience of enduring and healing complex trauma. Continue reading


Empathic people are often rejected.

People in general tend to reject what they do not personally understand. People tend to fear what they don’t understand, and will jump straight to having to dismiss, reject, scoff etc. I realise empathy is not common.

It’s where people are at in emotional development.


Some people confuse sympathy, with empathy. But, there are huge differences.

As with most things in life, people only understand what they personally have experienced.

I see this more and more, with regard to all the life experiences I have endured. I understand abuse, complex trauma, abusers, more than your average person will understand.

I also understand empathy and how not to confuse that with other types of thinking. I see a lot of cognitive distortions, being confused as empathy and compassion. Like minimizing abuse. Like ignoring abuse. Like cheap grace. None of these types of thinking are empathy…. but people will delude themselves that they are. Continue reading

Reading about Cardinal Pell at the Royal Commission makes me feel ill.

I haven’t listened to him yet. I can’t. I know I be so angry. I’ve seen enough reporting and comments about his bad attitude, to know how it’s going.

I feel really angry, for every single victim. And not just the victims of Pell & his paedophile buddies, but any victim of abuse by church people.

They make sick. Literally nauseous.

I have prayed for every one of the victims. Justice won’t be done though ……… because justice would be Pell and all his friends and the Pope in prison, for enabling and condoning these evil men to destroy childhoods and make children and their families, suffer so severely.

The Pope would know all about Pell and how he enabled his paedophile friends. That makes The Pope as bad as they are. Continue reading

I fucking hate the way church people minimize abuse.

I try to avoid the Royal Commission, as it is so triggering and upsetting. But, Cardinal Pell is all over the news at the moment.


It is so fucking typical of church people to minimize and invalidate their abusive actions. ‘Mistakes were made’. FFS. It wasn’t ‘mistakes’ it was ongoing severe abuse. Denying child sexual abuse by the paedophiles they were enabling and protecting. Treating the victims in a disgusting manner. For decades. That wasn’t a fucking mistake – it was deliberate, intentional, planned and cause massive devastating suffering to all the victims and their families.

This is the one of the reasons, they treated the victims so badly and protected the paedophiles….. and this is abuse – right there in this sentence. Emotional, mental, psychological and spiritual abuse…. for decades.


Abuse ^ from paedophiles and their enablers.


Minimizing and invalidation is abuse in itself. Denying it, to protect the church. Considering the Bible speaks of being truthful, they are fucking failing miserably in that. Still.

I’ve noticed a lot of church people choose minimizing as a way to deal with church abusers. My counsellor does it. She minimizes abuse by church people to ‘funny thinking’. It’s not fucking funny thinking, it’s abuse. Mental, emotional & spiritual abuse to minimize the suffering church people inflict on victims. Continue reading