Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


The amount of spiritual abuse occurring, makes me so sad.

Due to being someone who is very open about all the different types of abuse, I have endured… many feel comfortable in telling me about their abuse.

This includes spiritual abuse. Which often also involves emotional and psychological abuse. And for many – sexual abuse and child sexual abuse. And physical abuse.

The added spiritual abuse, where God, Jesus and the Bible are all twisted and abused, as part of the abuse…. it is yet another added layer of trauma.

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Many spiritually abusive people – feel very entitled to abuse, by using their twisted perception of religion, to aid and further their abusive needs. They use it to rationalise what they are doing.

To tell a victim of abuse, they are being treated the way they are because that’s what God wants, or that’s what it says in the Bible, is very abusive and traumatic. To call victims demonic or suggest anything similar, is abuse. It adds layers of shame. It makes a victim feel that even God wants this suffering they are enduring. It affects people’s own perception of faith.

I see people who have been abused by religious people, turn away from their faith. I’ve seen survivors deem all religious people as abusive. I’ve had my own struggles and issues with my faith, which has not been helped by being spiritually abused. So I understand.

But, I do know, this has nothing to do with God. Or the Bible.

It’s abusive people twisting God and the Bible, to rationalise in their own dark minds, why what they are doing is okay and needed. They feel vindicated by cherry picking Bible verses and interpreting them wrongly, to validate their own dark needs. They often choose mind control, as a way of abusing people. They tell victims God will be angry with them. They demand forgiveness and shame shift – if this does not occur as they demand it. And many more ways to harm people. I could write a whole book on this.

I see a lot of spiritual abuse. I’ve had many people tell me of their experiences. I’ve heard their views on it, and how deeply it has affected them. I hear the pain they are in. I see how the failure of other church people to believe and help them, further worsens their faith in God and pushes them further away from God.

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I do also know God has much compassion and understanding for victims of any abuse, and spiritual abuse. He understands why people get pushed away from Himself. He knows why. He sees it all. Continue reading


11 Comments

I wish society would stop the glorification of ‘positivity’, ‘being busy’ & ‘forgiveness’.

I see a lot of shaming attitudes. People sometimes don’t realise what they are doing, is in fact stoking their own egos, whilst shaming others in the process.

These three – Positivity, Being Busy & Forgiveness – are examples, I see often.

The single minded pursuit of happiness and positivity – often is merely a distraction and avoidance of the issues, that the person doesn’t want to deal with. It is often an endless pursuit many fail to continually achieve, and then feel shame in the process. Because it is not a normal and healthy human state of being continually. It is normal, to have other emotions.

They assume ‘if I just keep being positive’ – in the end that is what I will become. So wrong and irrational, but many are on this mindless pursuit and failing to do what is needed, to achieve inner peace.

I stay away from the positivity/happiness gurus – who claim this is the way we must all be. No matter what we are enduring. I really see how little insight they have into emotions and the necessity for them all. And also don’t realise how un-natural it is to be constantly positive, constantly happy. And I see people chasing this continually and struggling with the failure.

I am not positive all the time, because I am real and genuine and I have normal and needed emotions. And I don’t apologise for that.

I stay away from those who stroke their ego’s by being constantly busy and letting everyone else know about it. It’s totally okay not to be busy all the time and someone’s ‘busyness’ does not increase our worth or value. And in fact, have down time, relaxation time and do nothing. It’s healthy. But, to continually harp on about ‘so busy’, does tend to make people feel really self important (ego).

I also stay away from those who glorify ‘forgiveness’. Forgiveness, is a very challenging and emotional issue and for those who claim you ‘must forgive’ and if you don’t – there is something wrong with you, or imply you can’t heal without their description of forgiveness, is very shaming and harmful to many people’s healing journeys.

People who claim they have forgiven those who have wronged them, and therefore everyone else must/should, are offering really unhealthy advice and at the same time, are stroking their own ego to believe their journey and how it is proceeding is the only journey/only way’. It is absolutely okay, to feel some acts of horrendous suffering imposed on others, are unforgiveable. Yep – unforgiveable. And you can still heal and grow and lead a healthy life, without it. No shaming needed. Continue reading