Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Reaching out for help, when needed.


I’m very open about my journey. Good, bad ,or ugly. When it’s going badly and I’m feeling very low, I am upfront about this. Being honest is important to me. And I know how much honesty and being authentic matters, to complex trauma survivors. It matters, a lot.

I was suicidal yesterday. I am not coping with feeling overwhelmed by my own journey, my husbands issues that continually affect me, and feeling like I am failing as a mother, all at the same time. It’s too much. Too painful. It overwhelmed me and I could no longer cope.

Going to the hospital the first time, a few years back, was not a positive experience. And there was no follow up at all, despite being told there would be.

So yesterday, when I knew I had to do something to keep myself safe, I wasn’t keen to go to the hospital. But I had no other option.

reaching out for help


Yesterday, however, it turned out to be a positive experience. I did have to wait several hours, which is normal in the public health system. I saw 4 different people. One was not great, but the other three, were lovely.

The three nice ones, were very encouraging of me going to the hospital and how that was the best thing to do. And the psychiatrist I saw, was lovely. Very encouraging, very kind and showed compassion and used the right choice of words – that I wish every mental health professional would know to use. And he is arranging further services I can access, plus continue seeing my counsellor. (They did phone later that evening, as follow up).

I decided to post on Twitter today, what happened yesterday and how I went to the hospital. I wanted other survivors to know, that was the best choice to make, when suicidal. I wanted others to see it was a positive experience. I want people to see I needed to do that and to reach out for help.

The amount of support, kindness, understanding and compassion I have received throughout today on Twitter, has been amazing. I did not at all expect the amount of support I have received. I am truly so thankful.

It has been a real blessing. Support at the hospital and support via social media.

It makes a difference, especially to those of us, who don’t have family, and don’t have friends we can talk to about this painful stuff.

It made a huge difference to me.

Something I will not forget.

And I will use this, to show others, they too can seek support, particularly the professional support – if having thoughts of suicide.

I want every survivor of complex trauma, to feel support, to feel kindness and compassion, and to know they can seek safety, when at their lowest.

I hope when feeling at their lowest too, other survivors, seek help.



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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

10 thoughts on “Reaching out for help, when needed.

  1. Lilly, I’m so proud and happy you had the strength to reach out. Suicidal thoughts take you to such a dark place, almost swallow you up and your mind can only focus on blackness. Your only thinking is, I don’t want to die, I just want to get the fuck out of this hole I am in because I can’t see any other way out. Such a horrible feeling when I was in that situation myself.

    I’m so pleased you had a positive experience at the hospital, sometimes psychiatrists they have on duty aren’t so kind and understanding and the person is left wondering “why did I bother coming in the first place, are they even taking me seriously?”.

    Stay safe and strong, always here for you. Hugs, Deb

    • Thank you Deb, I appreciate your kindness and compassionate words ❤

      I agree, when at my lowest, I don't want t die, I just want the overwhelming pain to stop. I feel like that is the only way I will find any peace. And often I think I'm done with this life. I've lived enough, suffered enough, seen enough horrendous things in life.

      But, I know we need to keep going. And it takes a massive amount of courage to keep going and to reach out for help, when in that dark place.

      I hope you are doing okay Deb? You can always contact me, if you need to chat.

      Lilly ❤

  2. Oh, how i do relate and empathize with you, dear soul…it feels so very good to at last have a connection from a fellow sufferer and survivor of CPTSD at last! …other than my husband, who is number one, but at a further along place in his recovery/healing than I and also a man with different takes on things.

    Reading your raw honest posts is lifesaver to me many times! Please know how much you are helping and serving an underserved and very needful portion of the population here on earth to be doing uniquely what you are doing here!

    I am so encouraged by both your struggles and your sharing of them along with your growth and healing and everything inbetween! Especially for one so (chronologically) young, relatively speaking as one who just turned 60!

    many many thanks from my heart. ..:-)

    • Thank you for your kind words, empathy and message, I really appreciate it ❤

      I always hope my raw honesty and upfront way I share my whole journey, helps others, in a meaningful way.

      We all need much compassion in this healing complex trauma journey.

      ❤ ❤

  3. I have no one to reach out to when I get like this. We don’t have health/mental care. I feel so alone. There is only one support group in my area – one. And it’s 40 miles away.

  4. You did what was best for you. There really are some great providers out there! Hopefully, your coping skills and family will get you through this rough time.

    • I so admire you Lilly from the first moment I met you. Your willingness to be honest no matter what has been so helpful to me personally. I don’t have time for fake people nor liars to make me feel good. You absolutely did the best thing for you. I know how hard that was to do as I’ve been there also. I’m so glad you found good and positive help. You are always in my prayers and thoughts. Take time out for you if you need to. You are the most important thing! HUGS!

      • Thank you Shannon, such kind words ❤

        I always hope what I share, gives us some comfort, understanding and the hope that someone understands.

        How are you doing? I hope you are okay?

        ❤ ❤

      • I’m doing OK. Currently having lots of health issues. I’m taking care of myself like you are. I am so proud of all your hard work and help you give unselfishly. I am cheering you on from the side lines. ❤ ❤