Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Humility, grace, forgiveness.. & some trust built.


It’s been a rough few weeks. Totally overwhelmed with different issues to deal with.

One being the issues with my counsellor, where I screwed up and made assumptions, that provoked fear…. and I handled it really badly. But, have since apologised, written about this and been upfront about why this occurred.

I talked again today with my counsellor, about this. I apologised again and explained further. She was glad I sent her the link to the blog, where I wrote what had happened and why. She does understand my fear of trusting the wrong people and my self protection mode that I clearly still can revert to, when dealing with fear related issues.

She was very gracious and understanding. And told me I didn’t need to apologise again. She definitely models forgiveness and grace, well. And she was very encouraging of this blog and all I share, and the depth of honesty and capacity to be vulnerable, to have that raw honesty.

We also talked about my experience at the hospital and how I may hopefully be able to access some services like mindfulness classes etc. Which will be really great. And we talked about what triggered that situation, leading to needing to go to the hospital. She is very understanding of how difficult my home situation is, and how that affects my healing. And my issues I have when I feel I am failing my children. We talked about all that and I am very blessed to have a counsellor who is so understanding.

We also talked about other things that have been on my mind, like the Royal Commission and what terrible modelling of Christianity – Pell, The Pope etc are. And why. It was good to see how we agree on these issues and feel very grieved by the destruction they have caused, both to victims of abuse, and on a wider scale – as a terrible reflection of God, to the rest of the world.

It was a really good conversation and whilst the situations recently are not ones I am glad have happened, I do feel that the one involving my counsellor, has resulted in me being able to trust her more.

That increase in trust, is a pretty big deal for me.

I like this picture and words about trust. It does need to grow…. and is built with consistency.

trust built


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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Humility, grace, forgiveness.. & some trust built.

  1. I am so happy for you! And Praise God how beautifully God has helped you so very much in the exact place you feared would never happen. Have a blessed day. Love Liz

    • Thank you ❤

      Yes, praise God. It is interesting how I had recently come to a horrible place of feeling God does not love me, for all these awful things to have happened to me and keep happening.

      But, I cannot deny the support, compassion, understanding and support I have received over the last few weeks, have really shown, that God love me. Even when I have screwed up and have still been shown grace and forgiveness.

      Something I definitely need to reflect on. In fact, it's making me teary as I write this.

      Thank you, for helping me focus on this. Something I also needed help with.

      ❤ ❤

      • My fellow sister in Christ, Lilly, this is true Christian love, to help the sick…as Jesus taught…Jesus came to heal the sick, the outcasts, not the well. I pray you are having a day, and encouragement and peace finds you in all you do today.

        Trust is so hard to build when it was non-existent in our precious developmental years. Just this past week, I had trust issues again with my therapist whom I love and trust. Yet those damn fucking lies from the fucking words I heard in my childhood were playing on a tape in my head so I perceived MC (mentoring counselor as I call my therapist) was judging me, and expecting me to do things I wasn’t able to do…. the truth was quite the opposite.
        The kindness and endurance, and selfless love counselors …good ones, give to those of us traumatized in childhood, is nothing less than amazing.

        Lilly I am praying for you. I have another song for you, same artist. It is called Broken Places. The verse at the beginning of this video Psalm 34:18. Awesome! “The LORD is near when their hearts break. He saves those whose spirits are very sad” (EasyEnglish Version).

        Be blessed my friend and one day when, we meet our creator, our true Father, I can’t wait to meet you. 🙂
        ❤ ❤

      • Yes, I agree trust is a really hard one, especially when you have tried to trust people & it has ended in more hurt and pain.
        I think complex trauma survivors are definitely not easy to counsel. But the endurance of care they show us, the ongoing patience over time, the way they keep on being there for us….. even when we are struggling….is what we need and have so desperately needed all our lives.
        You are right, it is amazing. We are so very blessed.
        I’ve shared that song – Broken Places, as it is lovely and I wanted others to see it too.
        Be blessed too my friend & I hope to always be connected to you, until that time we will meet.
        Much love, Lilly
        ❤ ❤ ❤