Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It is okay to outgrow people.


When you are on the path of growth, wisdom/truth seeking and that inner journey, requiring courage…… it is inevitable that you will outgrow those who choose not to be on this path.

It is okay to know this is occurring, and see how little you have in common with people you were closer to, in the past.

outgrow people

Due to the changes in ourselves, when we are on this path of growth, the ones we are outgrowing, will often not be encouraging. They can feel resentful and not appreciate your different opinions, and different way of thinking.

But, we cannot let their insecurities and lack of willingness to grow, stunt our own growth journey. We cannot remain how they want us to remain, just to appease their needs. If they choose to remain where they are at and resent those who choose to grow, then that is their choice. And we do not need to feel guilty, or that it is wrong, about moving on.

I was discussing this the other day, with someone who’s relationship with another friend, had become unhealthy, due to the growing differences. There were passive aggressive issues occurring due to resentment from the friend, which is often how immature people deal with their resentment. The situation was not going to be resolved, so my friend decided there was a need to end the friendship. And sometimes, that is the choice we need to make. We do not need to feel obliged to remain in unhealthy relationships/friendships. And we do not need to walk on eggshells, to appease a fragile ego. Not when their choices, are unhealthy for our own life and journey.

I have experienced this issue too. And I choose to put distance between people who cannot be happy for my journey, and they instead choose to see it as a negative and show resentment, often in a passive aggressive manner.

Some people’s egos are so fragile, and they are so immature, they are completely unable to see this situation in a way other than defensiveness and resentment. And that is their choice, to view it that way.

As your life changes,

and growth continues,

your circle will change.

Don’t fight it.

People who are not happy and encouraging of your life and growth, are not your friends.

They are only a ‘friend’, as long as you stayed in their mindset, at their level. People who really care about you, encourage your journey.

Something I have also noticed, is those who lack the courage to grow, also lack the courage to deal with issues in a mature manner. The passive aggressive and manipulative ways they deal with issues, often mirrors the level of emotional maturity, they are at.

We all have choices in life.

The choice to grow, mature, seek truth and wisdom, is not something to feel guilty about. It is not something those who care about us, will resent.

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “It is okay to outgrow people.

  1. I needed to hear this today. I hate losing people that I care about because it hurts. All though sometimes know its for the best. I had to say goodbye to someone this week because right now she’s just not good for me. Hopefully its only for a season . She is my sister and I do love her but right now its for the best . Thank you again

  2. So very true. I’ve had to deal with this a number of times in my own life. Sadly I might have to end up dealing with it with my best friend. Unfortunately I think he’s hiding from his own demons. I confronted mine and changed. He wants me to stay the same, and I can’t. There is no way I can go back to who I was before. The sad thing is is the part that he likes the most, my intellectual capacity, it still intact, if not enhanced. I’m not spending large amounts of my brains trying not to remember my past.