Society has a very bad habit of saying some emotions are ‘bad’. Like anger. I see this poor and unwise opinion everywhere.
Even within the mental health profession, there are some lacking in all insight, who believe certain emotions are ‘negative’.
This link explains the ‘myth of negative emotions’.
I’ve heard it in a church, where being angry equalled to ‘being a child of the devil’. This said by a narcissist, lying, manipulative minister. Of course it’s easy for him to take that shallow, self serving, shame shifting road. When you have no courage, no capacity for honesty – that’s the easy road. That’s the road, many narcissistic people take.
I’ve been told by several abusive people, that being angry is bad, wrong, makes me a bad person. Of course, this was just more toxic abuse. And they spouted this BS, because they knew they were abusers and didn’t want anyone to have normal emotions about what they were doing. So they ‘shame’ their victims, into not expressing it. They shame shift, from themselves, the shame they should be feeling, onto their victims. It makes them feel better – to shame and blame their victim and shame shift. It means they don’t have to deal with the truth of who they really are.
Anger is a needed emotion, and a healthy emotion, about vile abuse people can choose to inflict on others. Anger can be constructive, or destructive. The former, being healthy and needed, with regard to abuse and suffering.
Anger is healthy, it is how we express it that matters. Projecting anger onto people, is not okay. Having uncontrollable rages, is dangerous to self and others. It’s not okay to feel ‘entitled’ to vent anger in a way that is harmful to others. But, being angry, about toxic people and vile abuse, is absolutely needed.
Due to all the shaming I have endured about anger, I have always suppressed it.
Until I could no longer suppress it. Then I had to deal with it. I hated feeling anger. I still had those toxic voices telling me it made me ‘bad’, to feel anger.
But, I came to the point, where I knew it wasn’t ‘bad’ to feel anger. It was absolutely normal. And in fact, I am the normal healthy person for feeling anger. Those who say anger is wrong, are the disordered, unhealthy people. Continue reading