Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I danced with the devil.


The first 20 years of my life, were ‘the garden of evil’.

Evil surrounded me.

I sought protection, in the wrong people.

More evil was inflicted.

Thoughts of death continually occupied my mind.

My get out.

My escape.

I wanted death often.

It will be a part of my life forever.

It will always be in my memories.

I still feel it.

As I sleep.

But, the nightmares are lessoning.

They worsen.

Then they lesson.

Then worsen again.

It cycles around.

I look forward to going where I belong.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “I danced with the devil.

  1. I wanted to ask you how you get a copyright? Thank you for sharing!

  2. I too love Lana Del Rey. Especially the extended version of Ride, Summertime Sadness, Burning Desire and Ultraviolence. They spoke to me when I really needed it, and helped me get past a number of issues. Now I’m tending to listen to different selection of music. Artists like Garbage, Fiona Apple, Indica and Anna Calvi feature much higher in the rotation. Still, back in my Bleed Like Me days there was that time when I was a Manhattan Baby who played with Old Money and was The Other Woman. At my worst low I had the Pawn Shop Blues and one ex almost drove me to be Kinda Out of Luck. Even still I’m Not Your Kind Of People. Sometimes I feel like a Criminal, but then my girlfriend assures me Love Won’t Be Leaving. Recently my girlfriend said “I’ll Be Your Man” when In Passing I commented on the Strange Weather to her.