A lot of trauma survivors, talk about how they miss who they used to be. They miss their ‘pre-trauma’ self/identity.
For many of us, however, who were severely abused from a very young age, we don’t have a ‘pre-trauma’ identity. This is something people will not fully comprehend, unless they have personally endured this.
Part of my healing process, is building my identity. A healthy identity. My real identity. The real me.
Not based on the trauma and abuse. Because I am not what was done to me. I am all I have overcome, all I continue to overcome. I am all the courage required and all the inner strengths and virtues I have – despite all the abuse.
I am also not what anyone else thinks I am. I am not all the nasty, bitchy, abusive things said to me. I am not all the negative voices and their opinions, from the past.
I am focussing on all I really am.
My counsellor opened a can of worms several weeks back, with this focus on ‘what I am, what I am not’. She’s smart, wise woman. She knew I had to deal with this.
So, I am working on, and focussing on, ‘all I am’ – without all those voices from the past chiming in. If and when those voices start arising, I’m ignoring them.
I am working on ‘all I am not’, again with no interference from anyone else’s opinion.
I am building up my understanding of my healthy, accurate, identity.
Who I really am.
I see how this is a much needed part of my healing journey. I see how this is a much needed part of healing complex trauma, especially for those who had no ‘pre-trauma’ identity.
I hope for anyone reading this who may relate, sees they can build an identity, through the soul searching and inner journey needed, to really find out who we are, what our strengths and weaknesses are. And learn to ignore the lies, we heard all too often, from toxic, abusive people.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.
All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the name of the author – Lilly Hope Lucario and a clear link back to this blog – https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/
This includes adaptations in all forms of media.