It doesn’t take much, to trigger some of the more pervasive and chronic issues of Complex PTSD.
I’ve felt terminally alone, all my life. I still battle it.
My doctor/counsellor is away for a month. Ongoing personal issues flare up. I have no-one I trust, to talk to.
So the aloneness, the hopelessness, the despair sets in.
You can be doing okay for a little while, and then a few things occur, and you feel right back to the depths of despair you felt when in the midst of the worst trauma.
I wish I could fast-forward the rest of my life. I wish I could get off this never ending cycle of pain.
I can feel the zoning out, the dissociation setting in. As always occurs, when I am overwhelmed and the worst emotional flashbacks occur.
I hate this life. I just want to be where I am going to be, when this hell on earth, is done.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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