Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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A hero is……

a hero is

I don’t buy into the average perception of what a hero looks like, based only on physical acts of bravery.

The greatest heros in life, go unrecognised, unnoticed.

They are those who endured terrible acts of suffering, abuse, child abuse, and yet came through it, and are decent people. Continue reading

A Christian Counsellor, who ‘gets it’ about church abusers.

church abusers

Shannon Thomas, being so insightful into abusers, personality disorders and church toxic abuse, has been added to my website, as a resource, as she helps so many.

Her website is @ http://southlakecounseling.org/

Twitter @ https://twitter.com/SouthlakeLCSW

I highly recommend her work, her insight, her education, intelligence and guts to say what so many church people would prefer to ignore. Continue reading


‘A special thank you’ dedication…. tears.

Shahida Arabi, is wonderful, intelligent, genuine survivor, who I am blessed to have connected with. Her first book, was notably important and I appreciated it greatly. I knew it would help many and so I added it to my book recommendation list on my Website and via my social media. That was over a year ago.

Since then, Shahida and I have been in regular contact and she invited me to write some posts to add to her new book. I was shocked, and so thankful! I sent some posts and Shahida confirmed they would be included in her new book. I have advertised, recommended this book, as I know this will help many more people.

We have discussed many matters regarding being advocates for abuse survivors and the ups and down of this journey, in trying to help others in a meaningful way. We have supported each other about issues that arise, caused by other people, and we can write to each about this, knowing we both have similar thinking and empathy. And this support, has been wonderful to both offer and receive. Continue reading

So thankful to see the needed responses, to Stephen Fry’s comments.


Tom Leavesley
UK Ambassador – Survivors Manchester

Thank you Huffington Post, for sharing this letter across your platform.




Boundaries are needed, when you are controversial.

People with a deeper level of insight into issues that are emotive, receive mixed reactions to their views.

There is no-one who has done good in this world, without being controversial. Because, people often do not understand a deeper point of view. And people mostly dismiss a different point of view that does not comply with their beliefs.

I have empathy in many ways, for those who are defensive about what they hear and don’t like hearing. I’ve had to face this myself.

The most wisdom I have ever gained, was by hearing what I didn’t want to hear. But, I listened, I considered, I asked more questions, I debated, I thought about it, until I knew I understood it completely.

One of these issues I have thought about a lot and considered deeply, is shame. And those who shame others, and why. Why society shames abuse survivors. Why shame is considered as a terrible emotion. Why the terms ‘victim’ and ‘self pity’ are obsessively considered shameful, by most of society.


What I have also learned in the process, is having boundaries. Some people, when faced with hearing what they do not want to hear, will respond inappropriately. They will be defensive, react from a place hurt and feel entitled to do so. I know, I’ve been there and done this myself. But, I always quickly know what I have done, and sort it out appropriately.

I had to learn my own boundaries, when reacting to others. And I have. I had to learn Continue reading


My empathic views on ‘self pity’ & being a ‘victim’ are well received.

Due to the highly un-empathic, worrying and abusive views spouted by Stephen Fry recently, social media has opened the opportunity to get empathic views and understanding out there.

So many people have shared my posts and blogs to show Stephen Fry is wrong, including mental health professionals, mental health and abuse survivor advocacy organisations. And have linked Mind Charity UK into them too. I hope they do read them and realise how wrong Fry is.

I am thankful for all who have been involved in sharing my work.

I will keep saying there is nothing shameful in being a victim.

I will keep saying self pity, is a normal, needed and healthy emotion.

Links to read on this further….



https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/i-realise-i-am-becoming-an-anti-victim-shaming-advocate/ Continue reading