Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

The shaming & stigma attitudes, about abuse victims & mental illness.


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There is far less stigma and far more compassion and non judgment shown to people enduring physical illness, like cancer.

When people are enduring potentially life threatening illness, that is mental illness, the stigma and non-empathy attitudes – are everywhere.

Other people enduring mental illness, or healing abuse, shame others, by labelling themselves ‘strong warrior survivors. Which is an identity, they need to give themselves, but lack insight to see, it shames others in the process. Whereas, I have empathy for others, so I try not to use this ‘battle language’.

I think I am different to some, because I am aware of how my language, my attitudes affect others. I don’t always get it right, but I try. Because the last thing I want to do, is shame or harm another complex trauma survivor, or anyone enduring mental illness, or trying to heal severe abuse and trauma.

A few things, I have learned never to say…

‘You must be a strong warrior’

‘You must recover/heal in full, because others have’

‘You must act like a survivor/thriver and not a victim’.

‘Don’t be a victim’

‘I am healing doing XYZ, so should you’

‘Healing /recovery takes X time’

This list could go on all day.

Bottom line, no-one has the right to demand anyone journey through their issues, a certain way, or use certain language, or demand timelines etc.

Sadly though, many do.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “The shaming & stigma attitudes, about abuse victims & mental illness.

  1. This is way too true…

  2. Lilly I have these thoughts too…its good to know I’m not imagining these things.
    I got a lot of work to do.