Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I think it’s time to change counsellors.


I think I have an unhealthy attachment to my counsellor. I think that is not changing and in fact, increases over time. When she’s away, I miss her. Too much. I think about her too frequently. I care too much about what she thinks of me.

I find it hard to talk to her about some things. Some things I can’t talk about at all.

I think it’s time to face, I need to sever that connection and move on from that. I already have a complicated enough life.

I know it will involve grieving and it will hurt, for some time.But, I’ll get over it. I always do.


Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

9 thoughts on “I think it’s time to change counsellors.

  1. *hugs* if you want them. I’ve never thought about this aspect of therapy (I’ve never really had a counselor that I’ve liked, so that’s probably part of it) I’m sorry.
    Take gentle care of yourself sunshine, you are worth it.

  2. I only want to say “be careful!, It hurts to need and it may feel better if we don’t need so much. Its a different matter if you feel essential needs are not being met by her or him. But just beware you aren’t cutting off because you are being trigged and feeling to vulnerable. I hope you don’t mind me saying this. ❤

    • Thank you & I appreciate your thoughts.

      I actually think you are right. I am triggered and feel vulnerable and that equals fear and danger.

      I know my issues with being dependent on anyone, stem back to knowing I could not be dependent on my mother/step father. To feel needy and dependent are triggers, to bad past issues.

      I think I feel it’s ‘wrong’ to be dependent/needy, when in fact, it is probably normal, in a counselling relationship. I think many complex trauma survivors, probably feel needy and would miss their counsellor when they are away.

      It’s definitely more to process and that’s a good thing.

      • Yes, I really understand as I have similar issues, in fact just before reading your reply I have been reading about how when we feel this vulnerable we can have thoughts about the person involved which are not true but are, in fact, about our past history with someone else.
        Its really hard to have long breaks (over a week) in therapy when your C-PTSD is so strong. I think its difficult for you, understandably. Hopefully when they return you can discuss this. ❤

      • Yes, I can see you do really understand this. Thank you, I appreciate your insight and thoughts ❤

        My counsellor is used to me saying I want to end counselling. It's happened several times now. I think she expects it to happen and knows I always end up thinking it through and I still end up back at counselling.

        She is very patient. Thank God!

      • I was just prompted to write my own blog about this. I abandoned two therapies due to thoughts like this and made my recovery slower and so much harder. So I know the territory well. ❤

      • Thank you for your honesty. It is refreshing. And thank you for letting me know it made your journey slower. That is something I really need to keep in mind, when having these emotional times.

        Are you okay now? Are you in therapy now. I need to come and read your blog.

      • Yes, I am in therapy now, but its taken about six attempts with as many therapists. Some just didn’t get it. I am now with someone I really trust. I have only been with her since January during a break from another therapist. Some things with the other therapist were not sitting well so I trusted my gut and made that move. I know now when my abandonment trauma gets triggered.

  3. And by all means I could be wrong.