“So many people get judged when they refuse to put their pain away. They get judged for showing it, for speaking it, for insisting on sharing their memories of abuse with those they know. I am not talking about those overwhelming strangers with their stuff—I am talking about legitimate sharings with those they are connected with in daily life.
All too often, they are fed one repressive message or another: “Don’t look back,” “What’s done is done,” “Don’t be a victim,” “Your feelings are an illusion,” “Be strong.”
What is ironic about this is that those who insist on embodying and expressing their feelings are actually the courageous ones—unwilling and unable to live a false life. Their stuff is breaking through their defenses because they yare tired of carrying the weight of buried truths. They want a healthier and more authentic life.
Those who seek to shame their revealings are actually less courageous, turning to repressive mantras in an effort to bypass their own unresolved feelings and memories.
If they can shut others down, they can remain shut down themselves. But shut down doesn’t take us anywhere good. If we don’t deal with our stuff, it deals with us.
May we all speak our truths, before our buried truths destroy us. Out with the old, in with the true… “
Jeff Brown ~an excerpt from ‘Spiritual Graffiti’
What I love, is how Jeff understands the ‘shaming’ that goes on. From society, other survivors, and from within the mental health professional.
The words ‘don’t be a victim’ are shaming words themselves. Yet, many utter them.
People who deal with their trauma, fully – are very courageous. It’s the harder path.
Don’t let anyone put you down, for having the courage – they refuse to have.
You stand in your truth – the whole truth – and you safely feel all the emotions needed.
That’s how we heal.
We don’t heal, by avoiding, suppressing, minimizing, denying, invalidating no matter how many people, guru’s, yogi’s, ego’s, those uneducated in trauma …….. tell you differently.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario