Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It will be a case of ‘three stikes and you’re out’.

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As I have blogged many times, I don’t trust church people to deal with sex offenders, paedophiles appropriately. The church as a whole, has very dire history, of dealing with predators, inappropriately. And it still continues.

My view, is sex offenders, rapists, child sexual abuse perpetrators, paedophiles, should not be allowed into churches. Or any place where there are children, who can be targeted by predators, who often have little impulse control and are often opportunistic.

My view, is one not agreed with by many church people. Ridiculous attitudes like ‘we are all sinners’, ‘we are all broken people’, ‘we need to show them grace and mercy’, ‘he says he’s remorseful and won’t do it again’, ‘he’s forgiven by God’ etc…. are ways in which predators know they will be welcomed, protected, and as a result enabled, to act out their sick, dark needs. And they use this to their full advantage.

Why wouldn’t predators use churches for their full advantage, when they know it a is place where they are very likely to be able to have easy access, to children and if caught, not dealt with appropriately, and instead enabled?

Church, is not meant to be a

safe haven for predators,

to be protected and enabled.

And any church person who believes it should be, shows toxic, unhealthy and dangerous beliefs and potentially, is an abuser themselves.

Church people all to often, don’t learn by previous mistakes. Sure, they half heartedly say they have adopted ‘child protection protocols’, but I’ve seen attitudes to this and often it is because they ‘have to’, not because they ‘want to’.

I’ve seen attitudes, where they do not believe ‘child safety checks’ should ‘have’ to be conducted for all involved in child ministries. I’ve seen attitudes, where they say they will not contact the police (despite the law stating they must), if a child says they have been abused in some way. They want to continue dealing with it in-house, no police, kept hush hush, kept a secret and basically the abuser protected, enabled and free to continue abusing children.

I do not believe for a second, this is what Jesus wants. Children sexually abused, and paedophiles protected? And shame and blame the victims? That is not the attitude of the Jesus, I know.

I also know that anyone,

who knowingly takes their children,

to places where predators are welcomed,

then they are failing as parents,


These unwise and dangerous attitudes regarding abuse and abusers, are why abuse is common place in church people. It applies to child sexual abuse and also domestic violence and other forms of child abuse.

So, knowing all this, I have an upcoming coffee chat with the minister of the church I attend. I’m fairly new there. I will have to ask her, how she deals with child protection and how she deals with known sex offenders/paedophiles?

If she confirms, predators/offenders are welcomed into the church, we will not be returning. Full stop.

The safety of my children, is paramount, and way more important than tolerating unwise, dangerous church people.

I don’t willingly, or knowingly put

my children at risk, by taking them into

any environment, where predators,

are welcomed.

So, I am bracing myself, for this discussion. I’m not looking forward to it. At all.

This is third church I will have attended, the first being a highly abusive, toxic, cult-like Baptist church that encourages child abuse and deals with abusive ministers, in a very toxic, unhealthy, in-house way. The second I could see other types of abuse occurring.

If this third church, proves to be a dangerous, unhealthy, unwisely run church….. I will not make any effort to find another one.

Three strikes and you’re out.

I cannot keep putting any faith, hope or confidence, where it is clearly unwise to assume it exists.

I cannot keep putting myself through this issue and dealing with such unhealthy people.

Not where my children, are potentially affected.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the name of the author – Lilly Hope Lucario and a clear link back to this blog –  https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

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