Jeff Brown, is one of few people giving advice on Facebook, that I choose to follow. His advice, insight, is far wiser than many. He sees through the victim shaming culture, we live in.
He sees through the New Age rubbish spouted by too many. He sees through all the ‘yogis’, ‘gurus’ and other self serving people. He sees through all the common irrational thinking, perpetuated by many. He sees through all those who perpetuate ‘avoidance’ of trauma, ‘minimizing’ trauma, ‘disconnecting’ from the trauma – perpetuated by some religions and the New Age crowd. He knows they do not lead to healing. He sees through the shaming issues created by family abuse. He sees survivors need boundaries, and not to feel any shame or guilt.
He has rational thinking, wisdom and empathy – a rare combination, I cherish.
This is spot on.
“It’s easy to personalize family dysfunction. We come from them, after all. It’s hard to distinguish what is ours, from what is there’s- where do I end, where does the other begin? This is particularly true if we have yet to individuate and develop healthy boundaries- something difficult to do in an enmeshed family.
The big mistake that many of us make is going back to the same toxic family well over and over again, looking for our answers there. Sometimes it happens- like in …those rare instances where other family members are simultaneously ready to wake up- but often it is just a self-perpetuating trauma trip, one that merely deepens our confusion and pain.
As difficult as it can be to break the habit, we have to stop looking towards that which wounded us for our healing. Some family systems are simply too broken to be mended.
Perhaps it is time to soak in a new wellspring, one that honors us just as we are. Swimming in an ocean of hope, with the next family that calls to us on the journey home…” ~ Jeff Brown