I don’t make excuses for abusive people, who know what they are doing is wrong. I don’t justify, rationalise, minimize, excuse… etc. I know people do make excuses for them… because that’s the easier way to deal with it. It ‘feels’ better, to think the abuse, was not intentional.
But, I don’t deal with lies. I deal with the truth. I cannot lie to myself, to make myself feel better.
The fact is – most abuse is done intentionally. Consciously. Deliberately. Because if it wasn’t….. they would not hide it, or lie about it. They are not insane, they know exactly what they doing.
It’s the harder road, to deal with truth, but I believe it to be necessary, to heal and to not remain in toxic relationships.
So for anyone grappling with this issue. Ask yourself…. did the abuser hide their toxic behaviours? Did they lie about it? Did they do it out in the open, in front of anyone?
These are the hard questions, I had to ask myself. And comes to terms with.
Which was really hard, and very emotional. But, I believe it was needed.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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