Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

When your children & a puppy, run around a garden.

How can you be sad, when your children and your puppy, are running around the lawn. It’s so precious and cute. I love to see my boys laughing, running around, having fun. Hearing my 13 year olds voice break and sound all high as he laughs. Hearing my 7 year giggling, in that cute way younger children giggle.

Even in times when it’s painful…. there are amazingly wonderful things I cannot fail to smile about.

happiness is a warm puppy

I am someone who can hold different emotions, at the same time. So I can be happy with what’s happening right now, and feel the joy in it. Whilst also having that underlying pain and grieving. I’ve had a lifetime of practise at being sad and in pain deep down, whilst trying to focus on the present and seeing the good in the here and now.

This doesn’t mean I believe in avoiding dealing with the pain, grieving. But, I now have times I allow myself that, and times when I focus on the here and now.

I know this is why mindfulness, is needed. And when I’m with my children, is a time when I try the hardest. And it works.

This is why I advocate for learning coping/management strategies, that help Continue reading


How toxic people choose to react – to your reaction ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

psychopath free pic 3

I am so thankful, to have connected with insightful people, who truly understand toxic people. They don’t make excuses for them, or minimize the harm they cause. They don’t justify the abusers actions, and they don’t shame you for having painful emotions and dealing with the long term, life impacting consequences of this severe abuse.

They deal with the full, honest reality and help survivors of this life impacting and severe abuse.

Thank God for these people I have connected with! Thank God for their courage for integrity and truth seeking/telling.

This quote, sums up my life. Every person who has abused me, from my parents, my sisters, the paedophiles, the psychopath, my ex husband, the toxic church pastor & wife, and the entire toxic church congregation – have all chosen to invalidate the abuse intentionally caused, and instead blame ‘me’ – for my (normal and healthy) reactions, to their abuse.

It is truly soul destroying to know how many toxic people, I have endured in my life. And they have all collectively and intentionally, tried to destroy me, due to their own darkness inside and lack of any courage, to own who and what they are.

Projection and failing to take responsibility for their own chosen actions, is one of the core toxic traits, of these toxic people. Continue reading