Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Another milestone – 900,000 views

nine hundred thousand

Each milestone this blog reaches, I still feel shocked.

I still think ‘is this really me?’. Do people really like what I write, that much?

It feels surreal.

My life, still feels surreal.

What I see around me, makes me feel like this life is bizarre.

But, this is me. I’m not going to wake up and realise this is all some weird dream. I’m not going to hear ‘cut’ and find out this was all some sick reality TV show.

This really is real.

And my blog has reached 900,000 views. Which considering what I write about, is huge.

I don’t write about cooking. I’m not a fashion blogger. Continue reading


How to Cope With A Narcissist

narcissism-and-health_1

A lot of people ask me how to cope with a narcissist, because many do not have the option to go no contact. For those who have to remain in some form of relationship, finding skills to cope and manage, are vital.

This is a list I found, that has excellent tips on coping with a narcissistic person.

Note, this would also apply to any toxic, abusive person, including sociopaths, psychopaths and those who have many of these traits, but are not diagnosed. Most personality disordered people, are not diagnosed, because few of them seek professional help and those that do, often manipulate professionals, to believe they are victims, rather than perpetrators of abuse.

This is from the link @ http://www.changemyrelationship.com/christian-relationship-help-boundaries-with-a-narcissist/


Coping Skills for Dealing with a Narcissist

You cannot make narcissists change. Personality disorders are the most difficult psychological problems to treat because the person lacks insight into who they are and has no awareness of the need to change. Your efforts to force change will most likely cause more backlash toward you.

You need to focus your efforts on changing yourself.  Face the truth about who they are, adjust your expectations, refocus your efforts, and learn to take care of yourself. Here are some of the things you can do:

  • Work on developing a strong sense of “self.”
  •  Learn to validate your “self.”
  •  Give up trying to make the narcissist validate your feelings, thoughts and needs.
  •  Attend to your own needs.
  •  Identify the things in you that make you vulnerable to the narcissist’s behaviors.
  •  Identify the narcissistic behaviors so you can defend yourself against them and not    be surprised when they happen.
  •      Stop trying to explain yourself and instead make short statements about what you will and won’t do.
  •  Set clear boundaries and refuse to back down.
  •  Develop assertiveness skills.
  •  Sever the relationship if necessary or limit interactions if it is too toxic.

Continue reading


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I need to work on my ‘approach’ with people…

I’m what some would say ‘a straight talker’. Verbally, I say things quite bluntly – how they are.

People often don’t respond to ‘blunt’. They need a softly softly approach. And that’s the verbal communication style, I need to learn.

I emailed my counsellor today, to let her know I realise the following phrase, whilst true, about church people’s lack of keeping children safe , enabling predators, and absolute lack of wisdom…. is not gonna get church people to listen…

“You think you are full of grace, mercy and compassion…… but really you are just full of shit”.

I did have a giggle to myself. Because I can see how many church people would react to that!

When I know I need to work on something….. I do.

But, after a really shit weekend, it was good to have a giggle.

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