Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

People who rationalise abuse, as a gift…

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I see people have all sorts of attitudes about abuse and often they are seeking to make the abuse somehow a ‘gift’.

Abuse is never a gift. Abuse is wrong, undeserved, and never excusable and should not be rationalised.

To suggest it is a gift – is to congratulate the abuser.

It is to suggest the victim, needed the abuse.

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It suggests the survivor had to be abused to ‘learn lessons’.

It really irritates me, when I see therapists, telling people that abuse was a gift. Rationalising it with BS like ‘your abusive mother showed you who not to be’.

Absolute rubbish and very unhealthy thinking.

Rationalising abuse is very distorted thinking and any therapists suggesting this is how abuse survivors should think, should not be therapists.

I deal with truth and I know I could have been a good parent without having been abused as a child.

I realise people believe this kind of distorted thinking, because it ‘feels better’.

But, it is not the truth.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

One thought on “People who rationalise abuse, as a gift…

  1. My mother tricked me into believing I have autism, saying that the psychiatrists in the 1970s recommended “putting me into an asylum and throwing away the key”. Two psychologists/psychiatrists who gave me therapy back in the early/mid 1990s, each for a few months at a time, told me they saw no signs of autism in me at all. Fourteen years ago, she modified her lie by saying instead that I have Asperger’s Syndrome. She claimed it was “to help me”. I did a test, the Autism Quotient test, a well-respected test, and got a score far below the minimum indicating clinically significant autistic traits.

    I’ve known my mother to lie, needlessly and indulgently, on several other occasions. I never want to see her again.

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