Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

‘Labelling’ behaviours as wrong & having discernment… are wisdom.


Being labelled or considered ‘judgmental’ – is often considered wrong and unkind. Many in society are pushing judgment, to be socially and morally unacceptable.
Yet, there is a huge difference between discerning behaviours as wrong…. and judging and condemning the person.
No matter what society is pushing, no matter what is considered socially ‘acceptable’……… having wise discernment and judging harmful, toxic behaviours as wrong ….. is wise and healthy.
But, these days, people are so concerned with
being labelled ‘judgmental’
they are forgetting how to develop
healthy discernment and good judgment.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
I don’t give in to society pressure, or what many are pushing, that I see very clearly, is very unwise.
I am often controversial, in not following along like a sheep. Because I consider and think about things to a deeper level and see the bigger picture.
And I am someone willing and able to look at my own behaviours and honestly discern if they are okay, or not.
I am not someone who tells others, not to ‘judge’ another’s actions, so people won’t judge mine. Which is the motivation behind a lot of the people who talk about not ‘judging’ another. They just don’t want their own actions judged. They don’t want to reflect on their own behaviours and motivations.
I don’t care whether someone wants to consider me to be the one who is wrong, for pointing our harmful behaviours.
I don’t care if people label me judgmental.
When someone has toxic, unhealthy, harmful behaviours – it is absolutely necessary, to discern that as wrong. And to point it out, and not accept or enable that behaviour.
It does not make you kind and nicer, or make you a better person…. to ignore harmful behaviours.
It is reckless and unwise.

And I know due to a lot of life experience, ignoring harmful behaviours, only aids and enables abusive/toxic/disordered people, to continue to cause harm. Which is actually not even being kind to the perpetrator of the harmful behaviours.
And sadly, many people don’t understand that, either.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.

5 thoughts on “‘Labelling’ behaviours as wrong & having discernment… are wisdom.

  1. If no one’s getting hurt, I won’t judge what others are doing. I do judge harmful behaviours and I agree, it’s not even being kind to the harmful person not to, very much the reverse I think.

  2. It’s so true that the reason people are promoting “forgive & don’t judge” is because they want to avoid being held accountable themselves. Cowardice!!

  3. ‘Labelling’ behaviours as wrong & having discernment… are wisdom.
    And is also known as
    “speaking truth to power”!!!

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